Shortly after Christmas, when I left the hospital, I noticed you had a glow about you. If my intuition is right, congratulations are in order. I know pregnancy when I see it. If I had things my way, I’d fight until the day you gave birth. I guess we’ll see what the Lord says. If I’m no longer here, I promise to be with you in spirit. You’re going to be a great mother and I know Lynn won’t let you keep that baby away. She can love him for both of us. Ilove you, Celeste, and I hope you let Shane be there for you the best way he knows how.
Love,
Momma
When the letter came to an end, I flipped to the second page which contained my father’s information. All these years, I’d been dying to know who he was and why my mother refused to talk about him. Now that I knew, I felt horrible for thinking she may not have known who he was. Knowing I’d spent my first two years of life with him made me feel a little better about the situation. Him knowing about my existence would make things easier if I decided to reach out.
This was also the second time she’d said something about me being pregnant. When I moved out of Allen’s home completely, I’d forgotten to take my birth control pills. If I were being honest, I didn’t care to go back to get them or call my OB-GYN for a new prescription. Between getting the new location of Luxe Addiction up and running and taking care of my mother, taking a pill was the least of my worries. Now that I thought about it, it’d been over a month since I’d missed my cycle. I let out a sigh and folded the letter before placing it on the nightstand. Crawling under the comforter, I pulled it over my head and let my tears fall freely.
CHAPTER 21
Shane
“Once again you did the shit on these beats, bruh. I can’t wait to drop these two singles next week. I feel like I’ve been away too damn long,” Mylo said as he puffed his blunt.
We were in the studio finalizing everything for his upcoming album. It was his sophomore album, and in my opinion, even better than his debut. I felt honored to be a part of his journey and hoped he’d keep me involved. No one would ever be able to replace Tripp, but Mylo was someone I trusted for sure.
“You haven’t been gone long at all. You were just on tour not long ago and you’re already rolling out the next album. That’s consistency, my nigga. You keepin’ your foot on their necks and I promise that shit will pay off,” I expressed.
“That’s what my lady told me. Speaking of my lady, I want you and Celeste to come out to her proposal dinner. Celeste is the only person she fucks with when it comes to people I know from the industry.”
“Proposal dinner? You finally got your shit together?” I joked.
“Yeah, man. I know it’s been in the works for a minute, but I’m about to do it. I know there’s no other woman I’d do thislife shit with. She believed in a nigga when nobody else did. That alone makes me wanna give her pretty ass the world. Were you nervous when you asked Celeste? Was there any doubt in your mind that she wouldn’t say yes?”
“I won’t lie; I was nervous as shit. Getting down on one knee is something I planned to only do once in this lifetime. I’ve made bad judgment calls in the past with women, but I felt deep down that Celeste was my one. Even on our bad days, she is the person I wanna come home to. I think another reason I felt confident is because I know she loves me just as much as I love her,” I let him know.
“I feel you, man. You the only person I can talk to about shit like this. My pops is in his sixties but movin’ like a nigga in his early twenties. All my homies are still living bachelor lives, so I be feeling like I’m in this shit alone. Hoppin’ in and out of different pussy is cool until you realize you want something more meaningful. I see fine ass women every day, but none of them are here for the real me. If my money stops tomorrow, they’ll be on to the next nigga with deeper pockets.”
I understood everything he said. Outside of my dad doing time, he had been there for me every step of the way. I grew up learning all aspects of life. I witnessed shit my dad did in the streets, but he also made my mother his wife and took care of his family. Nothing he did in the streets ever touched my mother’s doorstep. Mylo and I listened to a few more songs before ending our session. Now that this project had come to an end, I’d be working with a new artist starting the day after tomorrow.
“You heard about that nigga Spinna?” Mylo asked, standing from the chair.
“Nah, what about him?”
When I started messing with Celeste, it was never a secret. The only reason I kept quiet was out of respect for her. Once she let me know she was officially done with Spinna, I didn’t give afuck about who saw us. Plus, anyone who knew Spinna knew his ass had been sniffing behind Serenity’s ass since she’d stepped into the industry. Even if someone had something to say, I had no problem putting them in their place about my woman. The first time Mylo saw Celeste with me, he thought the shit was funny. He started referring to me as Mister Steal Your Girl as a joke but was glad Celeste had kicked Spinna to the curb.
“That nigga facin’ fed time. The girl he assaulted got him on camera coming to her house harassing her and threatening her to drop the charges. His lawyer is saying the sex was consensual and ol’ girl probably don’t remember because she was drinkin’. I don’t know if shorty sent the video to blog pages herself, but in the clip he’s saying how he knew he took shit too far. He said she needed to drop the charges or he would send someone to end her life. I don’t know if that nigga was on drugs or some shit, but there was no way he didn’t see that big ass doorbell camera right there. At this point, the case is gonna be open and shut.
“Then, Serenity hasn’t been in the studio or made any appearances since the shit happened. The public knows she’s having that nigga’s baby. Embarrassment is a hard pill to swallow. I knew that nigga was gon’ bring her down though. She was too green to the industry shit.”
“Damn. That shit crazy. The last time Celeste heard from him was when he reached out to send his condolences about her mother, but that was it. I think everyone saw the shit with Serenity from a mile away. Like you said, she was green to this industry shit and Spinna used that to his advantage. I’m not gon’ say he didn’t genuinely like her, but he had the upper hand in the situation. Jay came to me a while back, askin’ if I’d work on the new album with her. I said no and I’m glad I did. That nigga was a lil too involved for my liking and I didn’t have time for extra shit. I knew it would be nothin’ but bullshit if I worked with her,” I informed him.
Truthfully, I didn’t give a fuck about what was going on with Spinna. It took that nigga two months to realize Cora was no longer in the nursing facility. The day his lawyer met Celeste to give her the keys to the building, he mentioned that the nursing facility hadn’t taken the money from his account. Celeste was so worried about him hanging that shit over her head and he was too consumed in his own shit.
As Mylo and I walked out of the studio, other artists and producers made their way inside. I was glad to be out at a decent time today. There was still sunlight when we got outside and I was grateful. When I last spoke to Celeste, she informed me that she was visiting my parents. It had been a few weeks since we’d laid Cora to rest. This version of Celeste I’d gotten since ran so hot and cold I never knew what I was walking into. Grief was an unpredictable emotion, but I tried to be there for her as best as I could. Thoughts of our current situation weighed heavy on me as I drove through the city. We were supposed to be wedding planning, with Celeste nagging about what expensive ass venues she wanted to get married in.
It felt selfish to even mention the wedding when she was going through so much right now. A part of me felt like it’d be a welcomed distraction, but another part of me felt like the only thing she’d think about was how her mother wouldn’t be physically present. My heart went out to my baby and I couldn’t wait to wrap my arms around her.
“What’s good, Momma? What you in here doing?” I questioned when I walked through the door.
“Celeste wanted chicken curry, so I’m in the middle of preparing it.”
“Oh, so you can cook for Celeste, but when I asked you to make me an apple pie the other day, you said I was bothering you,” I said, acting hurt.
“Boy, I’d just come home from a date with my man. I had better things to do than to be in the kitchen making you an apple pie. I told you I’ll make it for you today and I did. Now if you wanna sit up here and talk shit, I’ll make sure your ass doesn’t get it on the way out the door,” she stated with an eyeroll.
“You wouldn’t do your only son like that. Where’s Celeste anyway?”
