“And you’re telling me this because?” Somehow I manage to get the words out, already feeling the few bites of the sandwich I ingested making their way back up my esophagus.
“Because you,” she continues, her eyes sharp, but appraising as they assess me, “would draw a crowd. You’re cute. You also have that wholesome look that men and women eat up. You could do as little as study in your lingerie, and you’d still rake in cash.”
My stomach twists. “What?” The word is barely audible. That’s insane. And she wants me to… she thinks that I can? Shit, Idon’t even like to be seen in a bikini, much less having someone looking at me in my underwear.
Lorna exhales, leaning forward slightly. “We like you, Felicity. Our families like you. And we know you’ve been struggling since your mom lost her job. No matter how hard you try to hide it, we see it. We’ve both been there. We know what it’s like.” She gestures with her hand between herself and Chad.
I bite my lip, my pulse roaring in my ears.
“So, what do you think?” Lorna asks, her tone even, as if this is just another business proposition. Not her asking me to bare my soul and body to the world.
I swallow hard. “Uhh, I don’t know. I could use the money, but people would know it’s me. They’d see my face. There’s no way I could get a different job after or show my face at school. I’d always be worried that they may have seen me.” I’m overwhelmed and all I can do is blow out a deep breath.
My hands are moving with my words, gesturing along the length of my body.
“Not necessarily,” Chad interjects. “Lorna wears a mask. She uses a cam name. No one knew it was her. Hell, some still don’t. You could do the same. You’d be able to keep your work and personal life separate. Then you could cut down on those extra shifts at the diner and focus more on your schoolwork.”
I glance at Lorna, searching her expression for any hint of discomfort, of regret. There’s none.
“He’s telling the truth. While I have different reasons for keeping my identity a secret, I enjoy every minute of it. It’s honest work, Felicity,” she says simply.
“And I wouldn’t have to…” I trail off, my throat dry. “Have sex with anyone?”
“No,” they say in unison, their voices firm, giving me some comfort.
I let out a slow breath, my mind spinning.
“Do I have to give you an answer today?” The words come out softer than I intend, but I still can’t believe that I’m even giving the idea any thought.
“No,” Lorna says. “I want you to think about it. Even if you decide today that it’s not something you want to do, the offer is always open.”
I nod slowly, but my mind is anything but calm.
“I know it sounds scary and crazy. But it’s really not. There’s no pressure.” Lorna tells me, and I can see the compassion in her eyes.
Biting on my lower lip, I sit there and think, knowing that their eyes are on me. It’s a big decision and one I do need to think about. The decision I make will have a huge impact on my life.
I can say yes or no. But regardless of my choice, I know I can always change my mind. Like she said, the offer is open. It’s not a now or never option.
“Thank you, Lorna.” Then I turn my head, “Chad. I have a lot to think about. I’ll get back to you with my answer. Thank you for lunch, too.” I add nervously as I stand and head to the door.
My answer should be hell yes to the job.
I just don’t know if I’m brave enough to take it.
Before I know it, Lena is tapping me on the shoulder.
“Are you okay?” she asks, as I notice the class rushing out of the room.
Shit! Class is over. I just sat down.
“Yeah, fine.”
“Okay. If you need the notes, just give me a call.” She gives me a wink before sliding the strap of her book bag over her shoulder and takes off.
I don’t even know what my instructor said during class. It’s as if I was a zombie, moving through the motions with no thought. Just instinct.
All I can think about is how good it would be to not be tired all the time. To not wake up just to work and go to school. Most of all, to have time to study. Hell, maybe I could even have a life, meet a nice guy and finally have a boyfriend. One who takes me out on dates, cuddles with me, and tells me he loves me.
