After five agonizing tries, my car finally starts and I make the journey home. Just what I need—another problem. If it breaks down now, I’m screwed. There’s no way I have the extra money just lying around for repairs. Mom’s car isn’t much better, and she needs it to look for jobs when she’s not working. There’s no way in hell I could take it from her.
Pulling into the driveway, I immediately notice Mom’s car is gone. Maybe she got a call for a new job, or she could be out putting in applications. An agonizing groan escapes my lips as my eyes land on the overgrown lawn. I need to find time to cut the grass before it ends up being taller than me and it turns into a jungle. Maybe I can do a little now before my next shift, but then that won’t leave me any time to study. Which means I’d have to stay up late. Just the thought of that has me sick to my stomach.
Inside, I drop my bag by the door and head to the kitchen for some water. Stress claws at me, my temples pounding as a heavy weight presses down on my chest. I pull a bottle from the fridge and sit at the table, my eyes landing on a stack of papers. The top one is the electric bill—past due. A cutoff notice for the tenth.
Fuck me. We’ve had to go a week before with no electricity and there’s no way in hell I’m doing that again. This just moved to the top of the priority list.
Bill after bill, all past due. We’re never going to get ahead at this rate. If I weren’t in school, that would be one less expense. But I’d be giving up everything I’ve worked so hard for.
I tap my fingers on the table, my mind drifting to my conversation with Lorna and Chad. Could I do it? What’s the worst that could happen? I can wear a mask, but where would I do it? There’s no way I could do it here. If Mom found out, she’d have a conniption.
My eyes drift back to the stack of bills, and I make up my mind. I pull out my phone and message the number Lorna gave me.
Me: I’m in. I just have some questions. Do you have time to meet and talk?
Her response comes almost immediately. A blessing and a curse. It’s just making what I’m about to do even more real.
Lorna: Of course. What does your schedule look like?
Me: Umm… not the most open. But I can work something out.
Lorna: If it’s easier I can call you, that way you don’t have to travel to the office.
Me: I guess my question is, where would I do it? The camming? My home isn’t exactly the best place.
Lorna: I didn’t give you a tour, but we have rooms here that you can use.
Me: Okay.
We chat a little more, then pick a time tomorrow for a tour and to go over all the details.
Only when we’re done, do I let out a breath.
Needing to burn off some nervous energy, I head outside to tackle the lawn. If we didn’t have neighbors, this might be one of those menial tasks I could do on camera. There’s no way my brain can focus enough right now to study.
Chapter 3
Felicity
Okay,it’sjustme,an empty room with clean sheets, my laptop and whoever decides to watch me.
Am I seriously about to do this?
I was confident I could pull this off after getting the tour from Lorna. She gave me a pep talk and some pointers that could get me a lot of subscribers and increase what I make. I’ve practiced a few times, just recording myself as I pretend to put on a show, so that I could watch myself. Learn from my mistakes and make corrections. But tonight, it’s the real deal and I’m having second thoughts. If only I could tape and edit it, maybe then I wouldn’t be so nervous. But I guess that defeats the point—interacting with my viewers is how to get subscribers and bring the money in.
I’m about to put myself out there for God knows how many people to watch. I’m going to be naked. Not completely at first. But I’ve done enough research to know that being naked and engaging in something sexual is what’s going to make me money.
I take a deep breath, needing to calm my nerves. A sharp knock on the door causes me to startle, nearly tripping as I make my way to the door. I thought that since I reserved the room, I wouldn’t be interrupted. Not for the next four hours, anyway. The knock sounds again and I open it just slightly. The person on the other side shocks me.
“Lorna.”
“Hey, Felicity. I just stopped by to wish you luck and remind you that you have it. Just take a breath before you go live and have fun. You can fill the time by chatting with your viewers and asking them what they want to see. It takes out some of the guesswork for you.”
“I just hope I don’t make a total fool of myself.” Passing out while I’m live and having people watch as I drool would do just that.
“Even if you do, you’re wearing a mask, so you have nothing to worry about.” She pauses for a moment before opening her mouth. “It’s going to be fine. If you decide this isn’t what you want to do, you can always quit. No harm, no foul.” Lorna crosses her arms over her chest as she leans against the doorjamb. “You still have your job at the diner in case you change your mind. Remember, that’s why you decided not to quit right away.”
I don’t know what to say. She’s right. When I talked to her earlier, I made it clear that I wanted to work around my shifts at the diner for the time being. It is a safety net for me, especially since I’m not sure this is something I can do, much less long-term for the next two years until I graduate.
