“Which ispreciselywhatwe need to talk about. This isn’t you, Ollie. This isn’t sensible.”
“It was the right thing to do.” I look to Tommy because he’s the most impulsive, heart-on-his-sleeve, led-by-his-emotions guy I know. “You already admitted it. This was right.”
“Helping little old ladies cross the street is right, too,” Chris rumbles. “But is it worth it if a semi-truck smears you on the tar?”
Eliza’s worry turns to a mean scowl.
“No one is being smeared anywhere. Jesus. Can we spar, please?” I peek down at my phone…Why? It’s not like Rose will call it.“I have an hour before I’m outta here again.”
“No one is sparring,” Eliza snarls. “We’re talking and?—”
“I’ll spar with you.” Tommy comes around and claps me on the back, dragging me around my sister, and, because he commands it, Cliff and Chris step to the side, making room for us to move through. “How is she?”
“Quiet.” I slow near the cage door and toe my sneakers off. I peel my socks off and tuck them into my shoes, then I pull my shirt over my head,balling the fabric and tossing it down with the rest. Goosebumps attack my skin—because I sure as shit ain’t warm yet—but I fix the shorts on my hips and don’t bother with gloves. Or a mouthguard. I simply rotate my arms and climb the steps until my feet touch the canvas. “She had a nasty nightmare the first night after discharge. Last night seemed a little better, but I think she’s hiding it from me.” Bouncing on my feet, I pray for warmth soon. For my heart to beat faster and for my blood to grow hotter. And while I move, Tommy follows me into the cage and closes the door with an ominous snick. “First time caught her off guard, so it freaked her the fuck out and messed her up. Last night, she was tossing and turning all night, crying in her sleep.” I swallow the ache in my throat and turn, ready to fight. But Tommy’s faster, his fist slamming down on my jaw with a painful fuckin’crack. My head whips around, my neck popping in response. Then he skips to the side, laughing under his breath.
“Caught her off guard, kinda how I just caught you off guard?” He claps his hands together, rotating his shoulders. “That was because you made us worry.”
“You’re an asshole.” I bring my hands up in case he tries for a second cheap shot. “Champions don’t rely on trickery, Watkins. They face their opponent fairly.”
“Fuck they do.” He bounces on the balls of his feet, ducking in with a jab and stepping out again when I parry. “Championswin. That’s the only criterion. The rest is a matter of style. Why is she having nightmares? Did she have them at the hospital?”
I risk a peek to the left, to where my sister clings to the cage wall and glowers. She’s smaller than Tommy, but fuck, she’s meaner, too. “I’m not a shrink, so I don’t know why she’s having nightmares. But I have a working theory.” I dodge a jab by the skin of my teeth, the breeze from Tommy’s flying fist blowing my hair back. “She dreamed that I’d gotten hurt.”
Eliza bristles in my peripherals.
“I figure she’s scared, since I’m her only friend right now. It makes sense that when you’re down to your last dollar, you kinda get nervous about losing that dollar.”
“I’d know.” Tommy swoops in, slamming a knee to the canvas and wrapping his arms around my hips. I don’t fight it. I don’t even try. I just brace for the fall and wish for the mouth guard I was too stupid to grab. Because when my back hits the canvas and the floor shakes beneath us, my teeth rattle and my head sings. Fast as a viper, he scrambles over top of me, taking mount and rearing his fist back. He could knock me the fuck out with a single hit—he knows it. I know it—so he maintains his position and holds the strike. But he searches my eyes. “I know what it is to beso fuckin’ hungry, I’d dream of food. And in those dreams, some motherfucker was taunting me, tossing the food over a cliff so I couldn’t have it. Did you fall off a cliff in her dream?”
Yeah. Pretty fuckin’ much.
I drop my arms to the side and starfish the floor. Shitty fighting. Terrible defense. But I haven’t slept properly in days, and even if I had, I don’t wanna hit my friend anyway.
“She dreamed someone attacked me. Bad,” I clarify on a sigh. “She was inconsolable, screaming and kicking and sobbing, and when she finally woke and realized I was okay, she was devastated. She felt guilty for something she didn’t even do.”
“Maybe that was a warning.” Eliza grabs the cage fence, her nose poked through the wire. “She’s nice. She’s sweet. She’s a victim. We get it. But she’s a stranger, and you don’tactuallyknow her. Now she’s sleeping in your house and thinking really horrible things about you.”
“Shedreamedit.”
“It’s the same thing! It was still her brain, Oliver. It was still her thoughts. Just because it happened while she was asleep, instead of when she was awake, doesn’t make this any less concerning. That just means she’s more guarded during the day.”
“I keep thinking she’s escaped a dangerous situation; like a boyfriend beating on her, an abusive relationship.” I bring my eyes back to Tommy. “Ya know? The kind a woman might run from in the middle of the night with not enough clothes, no money, and no consideration for the cars that could run her down.” I draw a long, shuddering breath. “Other times, I have no fucking clue. Because she’s not afraid ofmen. She’s afraid ofeveryone.”
“She’s not afraid of you.” Cliff climbs onto the cage platform beside Eliza, his shoulder brushing hers, while Chris sandwiches her in on the other side. “You said she was freaking out about the nurses as well. The other patients. The lunch lady. Her fear was for everyone… except you.”
“Which is why I brought her to my home.” I bridge my hips high, surprising Tommy and tossing him off with a buck and sweep of my legs. But I don’t roll and fight. I lie on my back and stare up at the steel rafters. “Sending her to a group home felt cruel. But maybe bringing her to my house was the true cruelty. She adapted to my presence because I made sure I was around enough to get her used to me. By the end of two weeks in the hospital, she was used to Janine, too. And the other nurses. Even Francine.”
“So you’re having second thoughts?” Eliza demands. “You want her gone?”
“No.” I draw my legs up, bending my knees, then I drop my head tothe side and meet my sister’s hard stare. “I want her at the house with me. But wanting something doesn’t always mean it’s the right thing.”
“Like chocolate cake,” Tommy rumbles in a faraway tone. “We all want chocolate cake. Doesn’t mean we should have it every day.”
Pretty much.
“I couldn’t stand the idea of letting her leave.” I sigh. “But keeping her might’ve been the most selfish choice of all, because she’s at home right now, all alone. I’ve only been gone for twenty minutes, and already, I can’t stop wondering if she’s okay. If she’s scared.” I meet Chris’s eyes. “If she’s sitting in a dark corner, rocking herself into insanity.”
“You’ve completely lost your objectivity.” Eliza groans. “This is dangerous, Ollie!”
