“I’m back on shift at the hospital tomorrow, and I’ll be gone from six till six. That’s a really long fucking time. I’ll have to leave before she even wakes, and I won’t be back again until dinnertime. She’ll be alone from dark till dark. Which is still better than if I were working theothersix till six, because thinking of her in the house overnight, crying in her sleep and fighting demons all on her own…” I shake my head. “It’s enough to make me wanna puke.”
“Do you have feelings for her?” Cliff wonders. “Is that what’s happened here?”
“No shit, he has feelings for her! My brother has fallen in love with his patient.”
I frown. “Eliza.”
“She’s not the Rose you think she is, Ollie! The woman inside your home is just a lost, scared version of whoever the hell she actually is, clinging to a defense mechanism while she goes through this phase of her life. But therealher exists somewhere else. You’re her doctor and her friend. And that’s sweet. It’s nice of you to hold her hand and walk her through this mess. But eventually, she’s gonna remember, and she’s gonna go back to the life she lived before. And she’ll have every right to do that! She won’t even be a bad person for leaving. It’s not her fault you’ve gone and done something monumentally insane,like fall in love!”
“I’m not in love.” I groan and go back to staring up at the rafters. At the old bird’s nest long ago abandoned, and the heavy steel we hang ropes from, because it’s fun to climb so high, forcing your adrenaline to take over and save your life.
If you fall, you aren’t walking away without battle wounds.
“Oliver!” Eliza snarls.
“You’re jumping a thousand steps ahead. And nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine of ‘em are inappropriate. If my patient were a dude, none of you would say a damn thing. You’d nod and agree.Aw, that’s just Ollie.He’s a nice guy.But because she’s a woman, because she’s beautiful, you have a problem with it.”
“Mostly, my problem is that you can’t go twenty minutes without thinking about her,” Tommy inserts. “Without worrying about her. That’s not just a loss of objectivity, Ollie. That’s bordering on obsession.”
“Right, because you walk away from Alana every morning and forget she exists until it’s time to go home?”
“No, I’m obsessed with her, too.” He rises to his haunches, his broad frame expanding and his sweat glistening under the fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling. “I’m allowed to be obsessed, ‘cos she’s my wife. She’s the love of my fuckin’ life.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I’m worried about you, Ollie.”
“Me too,” Chris inserts.
Cliff drops his chin in unity. “Me three.”
Eliza merely growls.
I draw a shaky breath and fill my lungs to bursting, stretching the organs wide and expanding my chest. Then I exhale again and grunt. “I’m fucked.”
“Ya think?” Eliza shoves off the cage wall and stalks around to the door, letting herself in and coming to a stop with her toes in my ribs and her fiery eyes burning into mine. “Tell me what to do so I can help you. Do you need me at the house?”
“No, I?—”
“I’d sleep on the couch and help you both find a little objectivity. She’s not scared of me, and giving her a new friend can only be a good thing. When you havetwodollars, the threat of losing a dollar becomes a little less scary.”
“You’re not staying at the house, Eliza.”
“Because you’re scared her nightmares will involve me soon? Or because my presence will force you to take a step back from the patient you’renotsupposed to have feelings for?”
I close my eyes and turn to my elbows and knees, reaching my arms high above my head and releasing a long, pained groan from somewhere deep in my psyche. There’s no way in hell, not in any scenarioever,where the tears in my eyes two nights ago will lead me anywhere good. I shouldn’t feel sick to my stomach every time I think of her being alone. My reactions—my feelings—are not those of an objective man. But I’m not ready to bring others into my home yet, and I’ll be damned if I let my sister sit at the kitchen counter with us, staring daggers at a woman already so close to her emotional limit.
“Oliver—”
“No.” I push to my hands, and then I pop to my feet,and because I know she won’t stop, I wrap my arm around Eliza’s shoulders and hook my hand over her mouth. “I’m not in love with my patient, but I care that she’s okay, and maybe caring is already a line crossed, but I would feel the same if she were a dude. Or a little old lady. Or one of the guys.” I look over the top of her head and lock eyes with Chris. Then Cliff. “This isn’t a new development, so stop acting like I’ve changed everything about myself just because Rose needs a little help. Now, can we spar?” I shove Eliza back with a vicious push and feel no remorse for the way she slams against the cage, then I chamber my leg and kick backwards, catching Tommy square in the chest. “Two champs in the cage, and it appears as though I’m winning.”
Chris drops his gaze and chuckles.
“I’ll probably swing by your houses this afternoon and collect those belts, since it’s obvious I’m the superior fighter.”
“Yeah, right.” Eliza ducks fast, shooting forward and slamming a powerful right hook into my ribs. “New plan. If I putyouin the hospital, Rose will have no choice but to cope on her own.”
ROUND TWENTY-ONE
ROSE
I perch on the stone hearth in front of a crackling fire in Ollie’s living room, an old-style encyclopedia open on my lap and a warm cup of cocoa by my thigh. I allow the firelight to illuminate the glossy pages, an image of the famous pharaoh ruler Hatshepsutstaring back at me.
