“I like shopping,” I say.“In fact, I could use a new sweater or two.”
Natalie’s frowning.“It’s not that kind of shopping.It’s the boring, tedious kind.”Her face brightens.“Actually, maybe you could come with us.You can help mediate.I want to go with bigger pipes, but if we do that, we have to extend the tack room wall, and then the saddle racks Sam wants won’t fit.Or at least, four of them won’t.”
“And then we won’t have enough saddle spots for the horses we have,” Sam says.“Which would be stupid.So I think we just use the same old pipes, and with the new extender things, we should be fine.”
“You think it’ll be fine, but there’s no way to know.We could wind up here again, with another leak, only this time the insurance company won’t pay for any of it.”Natalie’s scowling and it has the look of an old argument.
“They won’t cover all of it now,” Sam says.“You said?—”
“I don’t like the price, either.”Natalie whips back toward me.“But hey, now you can be the tiebreaker.”She beams at me.“You’ll totally get that we’re better off paying more now than risking future damage, even if it means less saddle space, right?”
I would rather die than be their tiebreaker.“Uh, actually, I forgot I had to do that projection you wanted with the different booking numbers.”
Natalie frowns.“So you’re not coming shopping?”
I grimace.“I don’t think I can make it this time.Sorry.You’ll have to work this stuff out yourselves.”
As I trudge my way back to my little cottage, I can’t help wondering how the morning went so badly.I thought we’d all eat some toast, and they’d compliment me for finding this fun, relatively low-calorie breakfast.I thought we’d talk about the upcoming holiday season, and maybe I could grumble about the other moms.But instead, they kind of ignored me, only wanting my opinion to help referee their fight.
Though, from their perspective, maybe I was the ridiculous one.They were both busy doing something on a limited amount of time, and I march in with my plate of food, expecting them to, what?Stop riding, ignore their horses, and just gush over how nice I am to make them breakfast when they didn’t expect it and probably already ate?
What’s wrong with me?
I have no friends at the school, thanks to my relationship with Jack.I do have friends here, great ones, but I’m being stupid and making them feel bad, refusing to do anything we used to do together.It’s my fault, I know.I’m so stupid sometimes, but I can’t seem to help it.When I get back home, Trish is still puttering around the kitchen.She’s made a big pile of all the snack food.She put bags of chips, which they call crisps here, fruit snacks, and little bags of popcorn all in the center of the counter.
“What are you doing now?”I ask, snappier than I should be.
“I read an article this morning.”She’s beaming.“I’m going to take a little drive in a bit, and I’m buying some healthier snacks.Dried fruit without all the added sugar, bags of nuts, and I found some recipes online for making your own dried chips in an air-fryer.”Her whole face is bright.“I think if we can get the kids used to these, they’ll be much happier and healthier, too.”Her eyebrows shoot up.“We could make extras and take them to Natalie for her kids.”
I want to tell her no.
Natalie would shut her down if this was her mother-in-law.She’d tell Trish that she’s the mom, and thatshecan make those decisions for her kids, and that a bag of chips now and again is fine.I can hear her saying it.
But that’s not me.
So I just force a smile and bob my head, and I say, “Wow, well, if you’re excited for that, that’s great.Maybe we just hide those snacks until we know whether the new ones will work, but what a great plan.”
Because I’m a total ninny.
And my sweet, little old mother-in-law is now in charge of my whole life.She must think I’m a really inept mother to have a whole pantry full of unhealthy snacks for my kids.I manage to keep from crying until I’ve reached my room and quietly closed the door.
Before I can start my accounting work, I notice Jack has texted.
How’s the morning going?
He knows the school showcase didn’t go very well, even if I didn’t tell him any particulars.I think he feels a little guilty, which certainly isn’t my goal.
I think about ignoring him.I don’t feel much like talking, and I doubt he’ll be able to do anything about it.But in the end, I’m too upset to keep it all inside, and I’m kind of upset with the people I’d usually tell.
Not great.Tried to make breakfast for Sam and Nat, and they were riding.
Then I asked them to lunch, and they’re going shopping.
Without me.
That’s not really fair to them, but it’s how I felt.
Again.
