That decides it for me.The only thing worse than seeing the other moms point and whisper is having Jack there so they have to fake smiles, and knowing they’ll be whispering and criticizing me later.
“Fine,fine,” I say.Then I text Jack back.
Just left—catch up tomorrow.I’m exhausted.
That night, I go to bed early, feeling like a pretty big loser.
But the next morning, I remind myself that it doesn’t matter if none of the other moms like me.I didn’t move here for them.I moved for Bryce and Trace, who are loving it here, and for myself, because I have two best friends who live here.I toast some amazing Brioche bread from a local bakery that I’ve fallen in love with, and then I smear it with mascarpone cheese, and I slice the somewhat decent strawberries I found at the market and place them on top.My cute little breakfast looks like a work of art.
So when I march over to Natalie’s place, and I realize she must be at the barn, I’m in such a good mood that I keep right on walking until I approach our nearly-perfect new barn and arena.
Sure enough, Natalie and Sam are riding in there.
“Oh,” I say.“I didn’t realize...”I can’t help my frown.
Sam pulls Scout up next to me, reaching out over the railing.“What is that?Is it food?”She gestures with her hand.“I’m so hungry, I could eat a hippo.”
“Gross,” Natalie says.“Hippos are all blubber.”She stops, but she doesn’t reach out her hand.“I had coffee already.Two cups.It was a mistake—I can still feel it sloshing around in my stomach.”
I lift my toast, noting that Sam has already downed an entire slice.“You could sop up the coffee with this.”
“What is it?”Sam asks, from around a full mouth.“It tastes like a fruit-flavored cloud of cream.”
I laugh.“Mascarpone toast with strawberries.It’s like buttered toast but more decadent.”
Natalie frowns.“And probably even more calories.”
“Please tell me you’re not dieting again,” I say.
She laughs.“Haven’t really ever had a successful diet.It turns out I only lose weight when I’m happy and busy.”
“So right now,” Sam says.“Because you’ve looked pretty happy riding every morning.”
“I had to ride every morning,” she grumbles.“I was terribly out of shape when I started, and the show is this weekend.”
“You need to nail that counter canter today,” Sam says.“So if you aren’t eating, back to posting trot and get warmed up.”
Natalie grumbles.
Sam crams down another piece of toast, leaving me five more slices, and then she shoots me an apologetic look as she pushes Scout forward.“I don’t need Foxy today,” she says.“You should go grab her and join us.”
Trail rides are one thing.Riding in the arena...it still makes me all shaky to think about it.“I just came to watch, guys.No riding for me today.”
Natalie stops alongside the rail again.“Oh my gosh, youhaveto grab her and pop in, even if it’s just for a bit!But imagine if today’s ride goes great.Maybe you could ride a few times, and then you could show with us this weekend, too!Please, Vanessa!Come on!It would besofun.”
Show with them in four days, after barely riding more than a trail ride or two for the last few years?I know they’re excited for me to join them, but it kind of feels like they only want to be my friend if I do what they want to do.“Sorry, guys.I have to get back to do my accounting stuff.Maybe next show.”
Natalie pulls her horse up, the red roan.I forgot its name.Looks like a mare, from the way it’s tossing its head.“Yeah, but?—”
“Natalie, I just can’t.”I wish I could fold my arms, but I’m still holding the toast they didn’t want, that’s now cold, like an idiot.
She blinks, her eyes a little hurt.“Okay.Sorry.”
Now I’m the villain.“No, I’m sorry.I’m not being fair.Why don’t we all grab lunch today?I can go back and do my work, and then we could all get a sandwich or something.”
Natalie freezes, her whole body stiff, and she glances at Sam.The two of them make eyes at each other, and then Sam jumps in.
“The thing is, we have to do some shopping in town?—”
