“Love you too, Jack.” Mike wished him good night and disconnected the call. He placed the phone on the nightstand, switched off the lamp, and lay there in the blackness, his mind going over Jack’s words.
When you put it like that, it does all boil down to that one question.And Jack was right. He already knew the answer to that one.
There was only one more person to talk to before he made a move.
“I thought you’d be bringing someone else with you.” Mom had been pouting ever since he’d turned up for Sunday lunch alone. She placed the dishes into the dishwasher while Mike made coffee. “Or had I not made myself clear on this?”
Mike sighed. “Sorry, Mom, but there have been a few issues this week. I promise I’ll bring him next time.” That was providing everything worked out.
She stopped in mid action and straightened. “Mike Scott, what have you done?”
“What makes you think whatever it is has anything to do with me?” he asked indignantly, mimicking her posture, hands on his hips.
His mom raised one eyebrow. “Because I know you, that’s why.” She peered intently at him. “Go on, prove me wrong.”
“If I’d known you were gonna give me the third degree, I wouldn’t have come for lunch,” he grumbled as he poured coffee into the pot.
Mom waited until he’d finished pouring before speaking. “What’s wrong, Mike?”
He picked up the tray with the coffee and walked through into the sunny living room. Once he’d set it down on the table, Mike sat on the couch, elbows on his knees, hands clasped between them. “I’ve been thinking about retiring.”
His mom froze and stared at him. “Well, I never.” Her smile lit up her face. “Really?”
Mike had to chuckle. “Don’t have to be Einstein to figure out you like that idea.”
She gave a roll of her shoulders. “Well, you’re not getting any younger.” She tilted her head. “‘Thinking’ implies you haven’t made up your mind yet.”
“That’s because I wanted to talk to you first.”
Her cheeks pinked up. “Aww, sweetheart, I’m flattered. But if you’re considering retiring”—she gazed at him thoughtfully—“what’s holding you back from making an outright decision?”
“I guess it’s the whole ‘stepping out of my comfort zone’ thing. Doing porn feels safe.” Then he thought about it. Latelyit hadn’t felt safe at all. In fact, the ground was starting to feel decidedly shaky.
“What about this man? Y’know, the one you’re too scared to bring home to Momma? ’Cause you know that’s what I’m gonna think when you show up without him. My mind goes into overdrive.”
Mike laughed. “His name is Tommy, and I promise, Iwillbring him to meet you. But what about him?”
Mom pursed her lips. “Well, you talk about porn being comfortable, safe. Seems to me that if you have Tommy at your side, it makes stepping out of that world a little easier. Doesn’t it? Wouldn’t you feel safe with him?”
He let her words settle on him, allowed them to permeate his thoughts. He felt safer with Tommy than with any of the men he’d let in previously. Only, he hadn’t let him in, had he? Tommy had slipped through Mike’s defenses like he was meant to be there. Slipped right on in there and made his home in Mike’s heart.
Mike was suddenly aware that all he could hear was the birds singing in the trees in the yard and the slow tick of the grandfather clock standing in the corner. Mom was gazing at him, smiling.
“You’ll make the right decision,” she said emphatically. “Now why don’t you pour your momma some coffee, and then you can tell me all about Tommy.” She grinned, and her eyes sparkled. “Can’t wait to meet him.”
He laughed as he poured out a cup. He couldn’t wait to see her face when she laid eyes on Tommy. He imagined his lover’s age might figure in the ensuing conversation. Not that it mattered to Mike.
When you know, you know….
Tommy lay in the darkness, listening to the sounds of the house in the early hours of the morning. Dawn was a long way off, and he wasn’t remotely sleepy. His brain didn’t have an off switch, apparently. All he could think about was Mike, the studio, Mike’s upcoming shoot….
His phone had been quiet since Friday, but Tommy was hoping that was a good sign. He knew Mike had been working the last three nights as usual, and he hoped there’d been time for him to think about where they went from here. This last week, with little contact, had really brought home to Tommy just how much it meant to have Mike in his life. Not having him around made Tommy’s heart ache.
Noise filtered through the blackness: the flush of the toilet, thepad-padof bare feet, the sound of water running. Tommy waited for the sounds that told him his roomie was back in his bed. Ben had been quiet too. He hadn’t been out to the clubs during spring break, and Tommy had to wonder about that. Ben had stuck close to home, playing his games and watching TV. Tommy had seen the glances Caroline had sent in her son’s direction. Yeah, this wasn’t like him.
“You awake?” Ben’s whisper came from behind the couch.
“What gave me away?” Tommy asked, sitting up and switching on the lamp beside him. Ben stood at the end of the couch in his boxers, blinking in the sudden light.
