I tug the door open, leaving the chain on as I look out. “Hey, Havoc, everything okay?”
He takes me in and immediately softens his features and relaxes his stance, trying to look less threatening. I’d snort if I had it in me. I’m not intimidated by him because of his size or demeanor. If anything, I’m comforted because he’s showing me he’s an apex predator and isn’t afraid to hide it. It’s the wolf in sheep’s clothing I’m wary of. The man who looks like he wouldn’t hurt a fly yet secretly pulls the wings off butterflies.
“It’s time, Citi.”
It takes me a second to process his words. I reach for the chain and slide it back.
“Really?”
He nods, a look of impotence crossing his face before he masks it. As good a leader as he is, there are some things even he can’t stop. Death is one of them.
“I’ll get Star. Be right back.”
“You need me to lock the rest of the place up?” he calls out to my retreating back.
“It’s already locked up, but you can arm the alarm. Shit, you’ll need the car seat from the garage?—”
“I’ve got one in the truck already.”
“Right, sorry.” I blow out a flustered breath before I head up the stairs.
I head to the main bedroom and get down on my knees before lifting the edge of the blanket. Star’s wide eyes stare back at me, her unicorn tucked under her chin.
“Hey, baby. Uncle Havoc is here. He’s going to take us out in his truck. You want to grab your shoes and jacket for me?”
She scrambles out from under the bed and hurries out the door of her room. I follow as she walks to the small wooden closet that Havoc built especially for her. It’s pink and not much taller than she is when she stands on the little wooden step. She can reach all the hangers herself, giving her a little taste of independence, which I’ve tried to gently nurture since the day we were set free.
I glance around the small space that used to be an office. Now it holds a twin-sized bed with pink and white sheets, the closet, and a little bookcase filled with books and dolls. A rug shaped like a daisy sits at the side of the bed, and just beyond that is a large toybox filled with a variety of toys she will happily play with for hours. The room has been put to good use as long as you don’t account for the bed. No matter what, she always ends up crawling in beside me.
My first therapist told me I needed to break that habit before I spoiled her. Instead, I held myself back from breaking the woman’s stupid, smug face. Needless to say, she wasn’t our therapist for long.
Star moves in front of me, snapping me out of my musings. She’s wearing a pair of pink sparkly sneakers that look cute with the blue jeans and pink sweater she has on. I get to my knees and lace them up for her before I press a kiss to her forehead.
“There are going to be lots of people where we’re going. You stay with me or Uncle Havoc, unless I say otherwise, okay?”
She nods, wrapping her arms around my neck. I breathe her in, my breath hitching at the sweet smell of strawberries. It’s her favorite shower gel and one I let her pick out for herself. It would seem trivial to most people, but Star and I spent a whole afternoon smelling every bottle until they all started blending together. Freedom never smelled so good as it did that day and every day since.
I pick her up and carry her downstairs, where Havoc is waiting. I place her on her feet and smile when Havoc crouches and holds his arms open for her. She looks at me, and when I nod, she runs over to him, flinging herself into his arms.
“Hey, princess. You look beautiful today.”
She blushes and buries her face in his neck. The look on his face is one of pure love. It’s why I always let him in. This man would protect Star with his life, with zero hesitation.
He looks at me. “You ready?”
I nod, grab my phone, and shove it in my bag. I grab a juice carton from the fridge and a bag of apple slices, throwing them in the bag too before snagging my keys from the counter.
“Okay, let’s go.”
He opens the door and waits for me to pass before he follows me out with Star still in his arms. I scan my surroundings, looking for possible threats—an instinct I haven’t been able to turn off—before turning back to the door and locking it. I hit the set button on the alarm, knowing Havoc will have keyed in the code already, and follow him down to the truck. I climb in the passenger seat as he straps Star in, and wait, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans, feeling my skin prickly with nerves.
Havoc climbs in and looks at me. “You ready for this?”
“No. But not being ready has never stopped shit from happening before. Besides, this isn’t about me. It’s about Ambros.”
“You know he won’t care that you’re not there.”
I flinch at that, making him curse.
