They were discussing selling me to the disgusting people who like to touch children.
I shake my head violently.
“I will get money! Lots of it too. I will steal as much as I can, I promise. Please!”
“Shut up!”
I snap my mouth shut as my lips tremble and I hold onto my ribs, blood spilling onto my chin.
My mother holds her temple with her fingers, massaging. “he’s giving me a headache”
“We will consider it when you get the money.” my father smirks as he walks to the couch and grabs the joint she was smoking, taking a drag of it and exhaling through his nose.
I nod frantically and he tilts his chin towards the stairs. I stumble as fast as I can towards them, taking one step at a time while holding onto the railing. I pass my parent’s bedroom as a tanned skin woman stands, leaning onto the doorway. Her body wrapped in the bedsheets, her eyes hazel and her dark hair curly.
“Hello sweetheart, is your dad coming back up?” Her voice is soothing.
I look away quickly and head towards the wooden ladder, I grab onto it firmly as I climb into the attic.
The only place that I know they won’t bother entering. The moonlight from the small window built onto the triangular wall is the only source of light here.
Once I reach the top I roll myself onto the ground and take a deep breath letting all my pent up fear go as my body shakes and a sob breaks out of me.
I move my hand over my ribs feeling the broken bone as I try to adjust it but I don't have the strength to take care of myself now.
I crawl to the mattress, the floor is scattered with papers with my last research.
I was the first in my class but I thought our material was pointless. I always like to learnmore.
Maybe someday I will get my degree and I can build myself a home and invite Elsie to live with me.
I would paint our house with all the colors she likes.
Would she like that?
I liked her company a lot and I hope she did too. Minutes pass by, lost in my daydreaming. I finally looked into the window, the clock underneath it shows its 10 pm.
I sit up as I flinch from the pain. And I already can feel a bruise forming onto the side of my face.
I wonder what Elsie is doing right now, maybe she’s safe asleep in her bed. I imagine her bed to be painted with multiple flowers and soft pillows comfy and the blanket wrapping around her in warmth. The image of her in the embrace of her parents rewinds into my mind.
I wanted them to see me, inviting me into the warmth of their home. I want to taste something made with love, not just a package that I have to heat up.
I’m glad she knows what it feels like. One day I will give her more if she wants to stay with me. I want to show her that I can be good enough for her.
I crawl to the pile of clothes I keep beside me and search through them, grabbing a black sweater and putting it over my head. I didn’t care about my fractured ribs or bruises.
I had a goal in mind and I have to do it now.
Grabbing a small backpack, I make sure I have everything I need. I pull it over my shoulder and slowly get down from the attic, reaching the stairs, taking measured steps. I know which places that creak. I learned when to know my parents are close and differentiate them by their footsteps.
I see my father sleeping onto the couch, snoring. I tip toe gently past him. His snoring stops as he scratches his head and I hold my breath hoping he's not awake. Once he stops moving and his snoring continues, I sigh in relief and open the front door.
I need to see her again.
Chapter Four
The past
