My throat feels dry as I remember that I have given the water I collected to Elsie. My lips twitch into a smile as I see an image of her face in the back of my mind.
She’s the prettiest girl I have ever seen. I already miss the way everything quietened around us when she looks at me. The way she described all the things she liked and her love for her parents. I hated the way she was disappointed they couldn’t have their camp like they usually do.
My thoughts were lost in her sweet memory as a hand held my shoulder and spun me around. I look up at my father’s eyes, he’s shirtless, only wearing pants.
“Why didn’t you get anything useful tonight? We need the money and it’s your responsibility.”
I stay silent.
I learned that staying silent would usually end the misery earlier. The constant begging for him to stop would aggravate him.
He looks into my eyes and snarls. “Where are your glasses?”
“I lost them.”
He grabs my hair as I hold onto his arm but I don’t show the pain. “That’s how you show your gratitude huh?! Letting the shit we get you get lost and we have to pick up after your mistakes.”
I shake my head as I see him raising his hand and strikes me across the face, my teeth pierce through the inside of my cheek. The taste of blood fills my mouth. I hunch over as he knees me in the stomach and I spit out blood. He pushes me onto the floor and points at me.
“Listen carefully, if tomorrow morning I don’t find that you got us money. I willendyou. You will wish you hadn't come back, got it?”
Clutching my ribs as I nod but he kicks my face. “I asked you a question.”
Tears blur my vision as I see a tooth laying beside me in a pool of splattered blood, pointing my tongue to the roof of my mouth as I feel the missing tooth.
“Ye-s sir.”
I whisper, afraid to raise my voice and anger him further.
Everything hurts.
“Can you both just shut up for a second, I can’t hear the show.” my mother coughs unbothered with her back towards us.
My father chuckles, shaking his head as he runs his fingers through his dark brown hair and looks over at her.
“Aren’t you damn tired of watching this stupid show? Why haven’t you gone to work in a while?”
“The weekend tips are the best so I’m just taking a break.”
My mother works in an underground strip club but she doesn’t earn much money and the earnings are usually spent on her drugs. My father was the one who encouraged her to try it. I never understood their relationship. I have seen shows and searched up the meaning of emotions and love was the mostcomplex one. Love should be unconditional but people make an effort to keep the love going, it never made sense to me.
My parents do not love me as I do not love them or maybe I do.
I wouldn’t know.
To keep a roof over my head, I steal everyday and give it to them. But I saw how other families function.
Dads pick up their kids on their shoulders, play soccer with them. Moms teach them kindness and take care of them when they are sick.
Maybe it’s the result of being a mistake. But they weren’t forced to go to that party to get drugs. They weren’t forced to keep doing it instead of taking care of themselves and the child they conceived.
It was never my fault even though they make me pay for it every single day.
“Well I have told you before, he can work through it. You would be surprised how much some people would pay to have a taste of the forbidden and it can be kept a secret.”
My mother’s words carry me out of my thoughts as I push myself to get up.
“Well you have a point but no one would want him with the bruises and shit.” My father replies and my heart stops.
