Grabbing my discarded coat on the floor, I wrap it around her body as I cradle her in my arms. Her eyes look up at me, I wait for any recognition but her eyes seem so dull compared to my Elsie. Either way she’s still beautiful and alive. Reaching my shaking hand to her face, I caress her cheek with my fingers gently—scared that the moment might break and I realize that I have been hallucinating. I had to make sure she’s real.
Relief floats in my chest as my fingers touch her soft skin. “You came back to me.” I whisper, her ears might be sensitive to sound. Her eyes never leave mine as if she is figuring out what I am and where we are.
I run my thumb gently under her eyes, the white lashes brush them subtly as goosebumps erupt over my skin. The adrenaline rush is wearing out of my body and I let out a breath. “I promise you with everything that I am, I will let nothing ever happen to you ever again. Nothing will take you away from me.” resting my forehead onto hers as I breath her in. I wished I would be met with Elsie’s scent of lavender but all I can smell is the chemicals around us. The glass shards might cut through her legs as I bend my legs more letting her rest them on mine. My eyes clash with hers with our close proximity as I whisper. “I wish you would utter my name. Just once. Even if it’s that stupid nickname you always called me. Just say my name. Once.” my words break into a broken whisper at the end. She stays silent.
She won’t develop any information or even know how to speak currently. But I will make her remember and teach her everything.
“We have so much to talk about, I want to tell you how it's been without you. All these years, we will make it up together. I Promise.” holding out my pinky to her, pleading, waiting for any hint of recognition.
She stares at me vacantly.
She will remember.
Just one step at a time and I will have her calling my name out with the excitement that I craved. The way she always looked up to me for safety.
Her pinky finger doesn’t reach for mine as I lower my hand and slide them underneath her knees while my other hand embraces her torso. I stand up with her in my arms as she lays her head down onto my shoulder. I lean my head over hers, making sure my coat warms her. Glass shards crunch underneath my shoes as I head towards the stairs. Her eyes flutter shut as her body falls limp. Her body must give out from exhaustion, her brain couldn’t handle all the added colors, structures and sounds. She will take time to process and acknowledge her surroundings, her sense of being and at the end hopefully me. I ascend the steps one at a time, careful not to trip and disturb her sleep. A strand of her white hair sticks to her forehead and my hand itches to move it behind her ear. I will take care of her till my last waking breath.
I brush my lips over her forehead, moving the strand aside as mesh as I can. “You’re safe with me, as always.” I whisper as I walk to my bedroom, flexing my shoulders with a new determination.
Now that she’s here finally, let’s make her mine.
Again.
Chapter Seven
Elsie
The past
Since my parents moved into this town and my mother birthed me, I was homeschooled. They always told me that people around us aren’t nice but I disagree. Clayton is the nicest person I have met besides my parents. At least my father is nice with me but he definitely looks scary to others, his words are rough-edged because of the heavy Russian accent.
My parents always fascinated me, how they met and fell in love. They’re completely different, yet they are like the puzzle pieces me and mom do together. They complete each other in a way I wish to find in my future love story.
Clay has been my friend for two years, since we met we have been inseparable. I never met his parents, everytime I ask him to let me see them atleast, he shakes his head.
“Come on, Clay. Maybe they will be nice and I get to tell them of all the achievements you do.”
“No, Elsie, I do not care about their approval. They’re sick minded and I won’t let you near them.”
He pleaded with me not to ask about it again, and I never did.
When I made him meet my parents, my mom was so excited to know him. She prepared a nice dinner and dad helped her. I still remember how Clay stood on the front door, he stood tall, confident, but I saw the way he kept touching the hem of his shirt as if scared that it’s not enough. Mom crushed him into a hug as dad stood behind her nodding with a slight smile towards him.
While we were eating dinner, my mom asked about his parents and I watched as he slowly chewed, biding time.
“I’m an orphan.” he lied.
My dad’s eyes narrowed as he kept inspecting Clay. They don’t think I notice how my mom subtly holds his hand tightly and his eyes glance over to hers. His gaze softened but there was still a slight edge.
Eventually, Clay visited everyday and I let him eat whatever he likes. He sometimes just comes through the back door at night, bruises up and silently walks into the shower and then sleeps beside me without a single word.
I really want to help him.
“John, stop it.” Mom slaps dad’s arm.
That gets me out of my thoughts as I realize I have been hovering the spoon over my cereal bowl. Today, I will finally try going to school. I’m 10 years old now and I have persuaded my parents to let me out. I want to explore the world more and be with Clay at school.
My dad chuckles, shoving a macaroon into his mouth. Mom loves baking them and experimenting with all the flavors, she doesn’t let me eat many of them because of the amount of sugar.
