“Fair enough.” He pulled us flush against each other and I melted in it…which is weird. I don’t hate it, though. “So, I guess our next order of business is to gather the masses and combine all the information…preferablybeforesomeone else tries to blow your brains out.”
“Or Malek’s palms start to twitch. Jesus, this is bad.”
My phone started ringing…‘Buttons’replaying a scene in Witherle that it just dawned on me…was my own fucking idiot lover. Dec’s hips started moving to the music, reminding me of that fact, and my pussy throbbed with the other body part making itself known against my inner thigh. I whacked him in the shoulder.
“Don’t get pissy. You loved it. Should I get the mask?”
“Shut your mouth.” I rolled my eyes, turning over to grab the phone and we both laid on our bellies while I threw it on speaker. “If he’s gone through another box of tissues, I don’t wanna know. He’s your problem now.”
“Worse. He’s ruining my favorite kink.”
Declan scoffed, making himself known. “Mal’s only good at two things: Sex and blood. If he fucks up one, he should expect the other.”
“Hm…valid. I’ll keep that in mind while I practice Emmy’s gymnastics against my bedroom wall. For the record…this is far from sexy.”I could hear my brother in the background and I palmed my face.“Matter of opinion…I didn’t know you were so flexible, Viper. Stay still, I’mma make another deposit.”
“Oh, dear Lord,” I snickered. “Dare I ask why we’re privy to this special moment?”
“Because if I have to suffer like this for five minutes, then so do you. Malek, I swear to God…get that thing away from me.”
“Fair. You off today? It’s almost lunchtime.”
Malek inserted his usual idiocy and the phone scuffled before I heard her again.“No. Had an appointment this morning and I’m heading over to Leviticus in a bit. Thus, the reason for my call. I need a favor and no…this is not me asking.”
“I’m waiting with bated breath,” I snorted.
“Mom and Dad want us all over for dinner tonight. That means you too, Declan. Greg and the girls will be there and even Mags isn’t exempt from the torture. You know how she is about punctuality…Malek had to scrape dishes and vacuum the dining room floor last time. If you’re late, I’m not helping.”
“Tell me she’s makin’ the potatoes. The weird tiny ones with the green shit on ‘em.” I’ve dreamt about those things ever since Sev brought leftovers to that apartment.
“Well, if she sticks to the god-blessed menu, then…yes, actually. But it sounds like her and Dad have something important they wanna talk to us about. I’m trying not to shit my non-existent drawers that they somehow figured me out.”
I bit down on my lip. “Would it be so horrible if they did?”
“That depends. Do you know a good way to tell your family that you’re producing literal leprechaun spawn that’ll probly be addicted to the tit for more reasons than the fucking obvious?”
Declan and I both erupted.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.”
“Glad I amuse you. You’re both supposed to be the best friends I never wanted. In case you were wondering…the golden rule is you take my side. No exceptions. You had one job.”
“Sevvv,” I whined, fighting back more giggles.
“Five-thirty. Tight lips.”
“Oh, I’ve never had that problem. Ask Dec—”
“Gross. Bye.”
Call ended.
“Okay, chick…let’s review.”
I’m sitting across from Em at the coffee table in Seven’s parents’ living room with three incredibly well-dressed Barbies between us. I could have had these growing up. Likely did, only I’m absolutely positive that I probably squealed that they weren’t good enough or forgot they even existed after the first five minutes of getting them out of their respective boxes. I exposed the tits on the brunette one and held the doll up between us. Emmy covered her mouth and snickered.
“Fake. Not even in the wheelhouse of being real…orrealistic.” I then tucked a hand under my left boob and jiggled it a bit. “Real.All ‘naturale’.” I held the blonde that looked strangely like‘Stab-a boob Natalie’, and repeated the process. “Also fake. Even worse…she looks like she bought her hair at a dollar store. We don’t carry ourselves this way. Exhibit A,” I said, tossing my hair from shoulder to shoulder. “Virgin…healthy. See?”
“What’s a virgin?”
