CHAPTER 11
The Princess
Why is it that as soon as you’re caught in something, all the fuckingfeelingscome rushing up like vomit to just spew from your body without control? This is fucking gross. And embarrassing. I feel like a naked bird. It’s the same as having that rush of relief when you get something off your chest. That overwhelming freedom to be vulnerable as soon as the chains come off. A blessing and a curse…becausenowwhat the fuck do we do?
My twat is fucked raw, and I swear I still want him right now just as bad as I did five minutes ago. I want him just as bad as I wanna strangle him with his gorgeous wet hair. I know he’ll wear a shit-eating grin while he scrubs that shower down. He knows damn well I won’t be doing it, but…it’s gonna be different now.
Everything is about to change.
I have a leg on each side of the fence about the way I feel after all this. The way Ifeel, period. I don’t like feeling. It’s so uncertain. Know what isn’t, though? The way he used his tongue as a sponge while my thighs were on each of his shoulders in that shower. How the muscles in his back ripple the ink and animate every tattoo while he fucks me like he’s making an offering to a goddess. The way every syllable of my name rolled out of his throat while I swallowed his cum. It’s how I feel now…tasting his mouth while my hips roll in circles with his thick cock stretching me out.
Here’s the kicker…
I can’t remember a time that I’ve kissed him while we had sex. I can’t remember my chest aching while I’ve rode him until he’s milked dry. Maybe love isn’t so bad after all?
…Oh, puuuke…why is this happening?
I felt everything leaking from me as he tried to remember how to breathe. Every muscle in my body feels like lit gasoline. I rolled off of him, onto my back and we laid there a minute, staring at the ceiling. I wonder which one of us is gonna crack and break the silence first.
“Fifteen grand.”
Well…I guess I should be glad it wasn’t me.
My head rolled to the side. “Whaa?”
“It was fifteen grand. That’s how much it cost us in explosives to blow the O’Dells to the moon. A bit more expensive than hiring Lucy and her football.”
My eyebrows are obstructing my vision. “Who in thefuckis Lucy?”
Dec finally turned his face towards me and he’s got that look. The one that lets me know he’s about to explain, in great detail, everything I could possibly know about somethingstupid.
“Lucy. You know…Peanuts? Charlie Brown tries to kick the football and she—you know what? Nevermind.” I fear that I have fallen in love…with an idiot. “My point is…you haven’t even told me everything and fifteen grand doesn’t seem like enough for even just knowing you’re tied to that sack of shite. I wish I’d had the chance to drag his death out…or let you do it. You seem to have an appetite for sadism.”
“Says the guy who just fucked me next to a flayed Russian executioner.”
He held up a finger. “Who was really bad at his job.”
“Also true,” I winked. I started picking at my ruined manicure. All I can see now is the way they cracked while they were dug into the dirt…while I got railed in the fuckingwoods.“You said ‘we’ took his fingers. Since we’re pleadin’ the fifth, you wanna tell me who’s been helping you scope me out?”
And cue the hard sigh and the retreat behind his curtain of curls. “Malek knows.”
“Dammit, Declan.”
“I’m sorry, but you know it’s half your fucking fault. He’s on edge with Sev and his sister was almost blown away in a parking lot. He’s goin’ though—”
“I know. I know about the baby.”
When he raised his head, it seemed like all the pieces scattered between our perspectives of what we thought we knew…started to come together. There was understanding there. “She talked to you.”
I nodded and rolled onto my side to face him. “They’re not pregnant yet. I think that’s what worries him. Not trying to protect whatis…but whatcould be. And Sev is still trying to figure out if they’re on the same page as far as being ready.”
“I get it. Our situations aren’t that different though, Bridge. Why would you go to someone like Simon and leave me out? You can’t tell me you trust thatGremlinmore than you trust me.”
“Idotrust you.” My fingertips grazed the stubble of his hard jaw, and I brushed the hair back from his face. “It was never about that, and you know it.”
“Do I?”
I guess I can see why he feels like this. God knows I’ve had this exact conversation in my head for the past few weeks. “I couldn’t tell you about Jonas. I couldn’t face you and tell you. Andnottelling you about it meant that I couldn’t let you in and let you do your wizard thing, even though I should have fucking known you do little else.” I shoved him in the shoulder and watched the gloat slide over his face. The fucker. “Simon’s a murderer. He’s also got a big brain for someone that doesn’tknow how to speak in full sentences. I figured he’d be a smart second choice.”
