Pacing in front of them I answer, “I got caught up. I becamefascinated with clearing my name and past behavior, wanting to make the world see a better Jackson Gage, wanting them to acknowledge they were wrong about me. When in all honesty, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me. Someone told me I didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. I already made it. There wasn’t anythingmoreI needed.”
I pause, looking around the room, watching them.
“Except for a second state title.” Their eyes follow me as I come to a stop. “And a third after that. And maybe a fourth, too…” I let my words linger as recognition lights their eyes. Jameson jumps up first.
“You’re staying?” His words are so hopeful I can’t help but reach out and pull him in, squeezing him tight. A couple of pounds to his back, he pulls back and looks at me, both our eyes watery.
He repeats, “You’re staying,” but this time it’s a statement. Not a question.
There is no question now.
“I’m staying.”
The team all jump up now, circling around me and the other coaches. Barking, of course, yelling and hyped for the good news.
“There is one more thing I need to ask of you all though…”
* * *
Later that night, after speaking with Britt and putting our plan into action, I know it’s time to come clean to Adam. I need to tell him everything, from the start, and then officially ask him to date his sister. I mean, I’m going to anyway, if she’ll forgive me, but I can give him the courtesy.
I knock on his door and wait for him to answer it. Once he opens it and sees me, he tries to close it again, but I throw my foot in the way and push.
“Let me in. We need to talk.”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“I find that hard to believe. I bet there’s lots you want to say to me, Adam.”
He stares me down but then turns his back and walks away, without slamming the door. I take that as my cue to follow him.
“I’d offer you a beer, but I don’t want you staying that long. Talk.”
“I owe you anapology?—”
“Fuck yeah, you do!” he cuts me off.
“Jesus, just let me talk please. Fuck!” I slam my hand on the counter. “You’re not the only one who gets to be mad, okay?”
“No? You’re fucking around with my sister and didn’t tell me!”
“So what! Why do we need your permission?”
“You should have told me.”
“Why? So you could tell me to stay away? So you could tell me I’m not good enough? I couldn’t stay away any longer if I tried, Adam!”
“Careful bro, your lines are blurry,” Adam warns.
“You’re so busy trying to fix everything you miss what’s in front of you. Sometimes things aren’t meant to be fixed. They need to stay broken or maybe they just need a fresh start. A reset.” I take a breath and try to express it all. “All those years, I tried turning a blind eye. I kept her in the friend zone, even after I knew she had a crush on me. I knew not to pursue anything when we were kids. I know bro-code. But when I saw her again, after all those years, something happened. Everything I pushed away came rushing back to the surface. And yeah, I should have come to you. But you’re so hung up on Chelsea, Christ, you won’t even talk to me!”
“Because I don’t know what’s going on! Okay? I don’t know. She won’t return my calls. She disappeared and I don’t know why.” He takes a breath. “Then I see you and my sister, even though it was supposed to be fake, I didn’t want to see her get hurt. You were talking about leaving, again, and I knew whatever way it worked, either I was losing you or I was losing her. I can’t lose anyone else Jackson!”
“You’ve been my best friend since forever. You know me better than anyone. Even at my darkest you didn’t walk away from me. I wouldn’t have made it without you, your family, without Chess. I’m sorry Adam, I’m sorry for making you doubt me. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I thought my only choice to make myself better was to get out. To be bigger, better. Again. Not to be seen as a failure.”
“You fucking made it to the NFL, bro! How can you think that’s failing?”
“Because I had it all and fucked it up! Let me rephrase that, IthoughtI had it all.” I look him dead in the eye. “I was missingher, Adam. I was missing Francesca. She’s my bigger and better. I love her. And fuck me,don’t you repeat that. If you tell her before I get to tell her she’s going to kill me.”
