His face was the grim mask of old. She couldn’t tell whether he was desperately searching for an explanation to give her or whether he just didn’t give a damn.
She scrubbed at her face. ‘You know, Alessandro, I knew you had an ulterior motive when you asked me to stay. I knew you wanted me to be some kind of substitute mother. But I had no idea what you really wanted was a substitute wife!’
‘No!’ His denial was swift and certain. ‘You arenothinglike her.’
Nat couldn’t tell whether it was an affirmation or an insult. She stabbed her finger at Camilla’s frozen face. ‘That’s not what I see.’
‘Trust me,’ Alessandro intoned. ‘The resemblance is only skin deep.’
Nat snorted. ‘Trust you?’ She stared at him incredulously. ‘Why should I do that? When you haven’t trusted me. Hell, Alessandro, you had the perfect opportunity to tell me the night Val visited. I asked you why Val had looked at me so strangely. And you dismissed it.’
Nat shook her head, feeling an edge of hysteria building. ‘No wonder you weren’t keen for me to find these pictures. Whyweren’t you just upfront with me from the beginning? Why didn’t you say, ‘Gee, Nat, you look freakily like my beloved dead wife’?’
A tear splashed down her cheeks as he took a step towards her, opening his mouth as if he was about to explain, but Nat took a swift step back in vehement rejection. She realised she didn’t want to hear it. She wasn’t prepared to give him an inch. Alessandro Lombardi had already taken his mile.
Several of them.
‘God,’ she wailed. ‘This is just like Rob all over again. Like my father. Playing second fiddle to another woman.’
‘It’snotlike that,’ he said, his voice sharp with denial.
But Nat was too busy wondering how she could survive this. She’d bounced back from her father – mostly. She’d had the love, understanding and support of her mother and other family. And her sunny personality. And she’d come through the Rob nightmare too – a little more bloodied and battered but still with belief in herself and in others.
It wasn’t going to be like that this time, though. Nat knew without requiring any deep thought or analysis that her love for Alessandro far outweighed anything she’d ever felt for Rob. The slow gentle realisation of feelings that she’d experienced with Rob was chicken feed compared to this all-encompassing bubbling cauldron of desire and emotion Alessandro had marinated her in these last magical weeks.
She looked at Alessandro’s emotionless face. He’d retreated behind that mask again; the only sign that any of this was affecting him was the clench of his jaw. ‘Did you ever just want me for me?’
He flinched at her accusation but Nat got no pleasure from his response. It was a startling thing to admit to herself. But she knew she was right. While she’d been falling in love he’djust been using her body to try and erase or maybe rekindle the memory of his wife.
Loving the one he was with.
It certainly explained his insatiability. The almost desperate way he reached for her every night. Pounding away deeper, faster, harder, like he was afraid she’d evaporate in his arms if he wasn’t constantly touching her.
‘I think I’ve more than adequately shown you how much I desire you.’
Nat looked at him with rage in her gut.Desire?He might as well have reached into her chest and ripped out her haemorrhaging heart.
‘This isn’t aboutsex, Alessandro,’ she hissed dismissively. ‘It’s about love.’
He visibly blanched. ‘Love?’
Nat flushed. She hadn’t meant to blurt it like that but her chest had swollen with a mix of emotions that threatened to crush her and the truth had tumbled out. She was damned if she was going to back away from it, though.
‘Yes, Alessandro, love,’ she threw at him. ‘I’m sorry, I know what we were doing wasn’t supposed to be love but it happened anyway. I guess I’m not quite as callous as you.’
Gaping at her, he raked his hand through his hair. ‘Nathalie…’
Nat shut her eyes and shook her head vigorously. ‘No. Don’t say anything.’ She couldn’t bear to hear any platitudes. ‘I’ll be out of your hair before you know it.’
He blinked. ‘You’re leaving? But… your place won’t be ready for weeks yet. What about Juliano? You can’t just up and leave with no notice. Headoresyou.’
Nat felt a sob rise in her throat. Yes,Julianoadored her. Buthedidn’t. Not quite the impassioned plea she’d hoped for, eventhough somewhere inside she felt a surge of pride that he was at last thinking like a father.
Thinking about his child even before himself.
And he was right – leaving Juliano would be heart-wrenching too. She loved the boy as much as the father. But at least she knew they now had each other.
She shrugged. ‘I’ll tell him something has come up and a friend needs me.’
