They could have been sisters.Her and Alessandro’s dead wife.
Climbing awkwardly to feet on legs that felt about as substantial as dental floss she clutched the frame, standing motionless as she stared at the dead woman’s face, feeling like her heart had been ripped out of her chest and been stomped on repeatedly. Feeling rage and impotence and desperation in equal measure as the awful, awful truth sank in.
She was in love with Alessandro.
In love with a man who was still so in love with his dead wife he’d chosen a lookalike replacement with no thought to the consequences.
Her sense of loss was so profound not even the sobs that were choking her chest, threatening to strangle her, could find an outlet. She could hear a low kind of keening and knew it was coming from her, but didn’t seem to be able to stop.
It was like Rob and her father all over again. Worse.Way worse. She’d had to compete with two women in her life for the affections of men she’d loved deeply. But at least those women had been alive. How did she compete with a perfect memory?
A ghost?
And,goddamn it, why was she always the bridesmaid and never the bride with the men in her life? Why was she always second choice? Wasn’t she good enough? Lovable enough? Her father had left her for a new family. Rob had left her for an old one. And Alessandro? Well, he’d obviously never been hers.
Nat heard a little voice inside her ask the question she’d never allowed herself to ask. Had always felt selfish even thinking it.What about me?
‘Nat! Nat!’
Nat jerked as Juliano came haring into the room, jumping up and down. She hugged the frame to her chest automatically as Juliano babbled on.
‘Papa and I have cooked the tea. It’s his nonna’s recipe from Roma and it’s so delicious.’ He paused, bunched his fingertips together and kissed them for dramatic effect, like Nat had seen Alessandro do the other night in the kitchen.
Minutes ago, she would have laughed; now she wasn’t sure she’d ever laugh again.
‘He said as long as it’s okay by you I can go and play with Flo in the back yard but I have to make sure I wash my hands afterwards before I eat dinner because that’s just good hygiene.’
Nat blinked, her sluggish brain catching up with Juliano’s rapid chatter several seconds later. She noticed some movement in her peripheral vision and glanced up to see Alessandro lounging in the doorway in the half-light, like a big lazy cat.
She looked at him helplessly. Even now, even knowing what she did, even mad as hell, her body still responded to his blatant sexuality.
‘Nat!’
Her attention returned to the excited little boy in front of her, hopping from one foot to the other. ‘That’s fine.’ She nodded.
‘Yippee-ee!’ Juliano took off, heading for the sitting room and calling for Flo.
Which just left the two of them.
Pushing off the doorframe, Alessandro prowled towards her, his intent to kiss her clear in those dark, sexy eyes. ‘How many boxes to go now?’
Nat took a step back as he advanced, her heart skittering in her chest as she realised she’d never feel his mouth on hers again. She saw the moment he clocked all was not well, a frown slowly spreading across his forehead.
‘Nathalie!’ He took two quick steps towards her. ‘What’s wrong?’
Nat took another step back, snatching her arm away as he reached for it. He stopped abruptly, his frown deepening. ‘Nathalie?’
God, why must he call her that now? So personal, sosoft, the name he called her in bed. Turning the frame around like a shield against the memories, she said, ‘When were you going to tell me about this?’
His gaze flicked down and he didn’t move for long moments as he looked at the photograph. ‘Ah,’ he said, sliding his hands into his pockets.
Nat felt the casual comment right down to her toes.‘Ah’? He knew. No what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about frown. No immediate this-isn’t-what-it-looks-like explanation.
He knew, too.
Oh, God – it all made so much sense now. The way Juliano had looked at her that first day like he’d seen a ghost. Followed by Alessandro’s own, more subtle but definitely, looking back at it now, stunned reaction later that same day. And more recently, Valentino’s double-take.
She shoved the frame at him, pushing it hard into his abdominal muscles and releasing it as his fingers closed around it. ‘Is that all you’ve got?’ she demanded.
