Tristan and I have been apart for a week, but it feels like a lifetime. I can’t believe how much I miss him. I can’t believe how much I miss his dominance. I’m not talking about the sex, although I do miss that. I’m talking about his guidance and instructions and control. Pleasing him pleases me. And nothing about being here without him makes mehappy.
Adam slams the deck on the table. “Again. And do try to stop wasting my time and concentrate on what you’redoing.”
My card-counting skills are out of practice after being away from the tables for months while living with Tristan. I need to polish my craft before hitting the casinotonight.
I push the thoughts of Tristan from my mind and watch the cards carefully. It’s taken days of practice to even get back to this point. Who knew I could lose my skills soquickly?
“What is tonight’sgoal?”
“Ten.”
“Ten thousand? That’s all?” I could win that in notime.
“I’m more careful since Broussard caught us; my daughter can’t afford for her dad to be sitting injail.”
Michaela has a severe seizure disorder. Her condition is brittle and often uncontrolled. Just when one medication seems to be working, it suddenly stops and the whole regimen must be restarted with a different kind of medication. She has seen countless doctors and no one has an explanation for why her condition can’t becontrolled.
Adam is a good father. He’s always looking out for his daughter’s future, constantly putting money into savings for her to live on in the event of everywhat ifin life. What if she doesn’t grow out of her condition? What if she is never able to hold a job? What if she somehow loses her healthinsurance?
And then there’s my what if: what if I’mpregnant?
“Are you going to tell me about it?” Adamasks.
“Tell you aboutwhat?”
“Your fight withBroussard.”
“I never said that we had afight.”
Adam doesn’t miss a beat as he deals. “You didn’t have to say it. I cantell.”
“Fine. We had a fight, and it’s a big one, but I don’t want to talk aboutit.”
“I can’t believe that I’m about to say this, but he treats you better than any of the fuckers you dated before him.” Adam shrugs. “I likehim.”
“What do you like aboutTristan?”
Adam flips over some cards. “I don’t worry about your stupid ass when you’re with him. He acts like he’s ready to jump in front of a bullet for you. I’m confident that he is going to protectyou.”
“Tristan is definitely a protector. He’s also possessive asfuck.”
Adam chuckles. “I thought chicks liked that alpha-possessiveshit.”
“We do, but it’s different with Tristan. Everything about him is veryintense.”
I pick up my phone to look at the time and stop to look at my lock screen, a photo of us. It’s a selfie of us lying on our backs in bed and Tristan is cradling the side of my face with his hand. I remember everything about that moment, but mostly I remember how special he made mefeel.
I touch the screen, stroking my finger down his face, but it feels nothing like the real thing. And I don’t know when I’ll get to feel the real thing again. Orif.
“Let’s just stop. Your head isn’t inthis.”
Adam is right. My head hasn’t been in this since we started practicing a weekago.
“I’m sure I’ll fall right back into the swing of it when I’m at the table. What time do you want me to come to thecasino?”
“Between nine and ten. Walk around the blackjack tables for at least thirty minutes. Give the pit boss time to notice you. He’s easily distracted by tits so wear something that will catch his attention and holdit.”
“What does he looklike?”
