We were so close to getting back to bliss, but then maybe we weren't? The whole thing may have been an illusion I created in my head. Did I really think that was all it was going to take to undo the damage months of practical neglect had left behind? That a few dates and deliveries of coffee and lunch were enough. I was a fool not to see that we were rushing things. I was rushing things.
The following day, I took my first sick day. I call John and tell him I'm not feeling good and that I need to just log off for a few days, which of course, he's fine with. I'm sure he could hear how raw my voice was from spending the night wavering between crying and yelling at my ceiling.
Sleep was so far from me I couldn't even close my eyes to try. Doing so meant seeing his face. First, how happy he was when he laid eyes on Thor and Loki, then how utterly broken he looked as he left.
The whole day, I walk around the house like a zombie, surviving only on coffee and determination, and even that is starting to falter.
The puppies are too small yet for walks, so I just let them out of their pen to play on the floor with me. My mind automatically wishes I had just shut my damn mouth so that Ryan could be here so we could both be rolling around on a soft, luxurious rug. Instead, I'm here alone on the hardwood floor.
Once the puppies are thoroughly tuckered out and their bellies full, I sit back at my laptop. My email was still open and unanswered when I remember what Ryan said.
Ben went to see him. He went out of his way to go and tell Ryan about the deal. What the fuck is that guy's problem? Why would he try to ruin my relationship? It doesn't make any sense.
One thing is sure, though, I'm going to get answers first thing tomorrow.
The elevator door opens on the eleventh floor of the Novak, Smith, and Cliffer building at nine A.M. Wednesday morning. I couldn't face putting on a suit this morning, so I opted for a navy henley and jeans. Ryan would call it my signature look. Except this time, I have a baby carrier strapped to my chest with my two tiny fur babies happy and snug inside.
I knew I wouldn't be here long, but I just couldn't part with them this morning. It stupidly feels like they are the last thing I have left of Ryan, and I want to carry them with me as much as I can. Even if I do look utterly ridiculous. I really don't give a fuck. Not today - no way, no how. I am out for blood today.
Giving the receptionist a brief wave, I head for Ben's office, not bothering to knock. I walk straight in and catch him mid-conversation with somebody on the phone. He furrows his brows at me as he apologizes to the caller and hangs up.
"What the fuck are you wearing?" He asks lip turned up in disgust. I'm not sure if he knows there are dogs in it or if he is disgusted by the thought I could be carrying a baby in there. Either way, it doesn't matter.
"Why did you feel the need to go to Ryan's place of work and divulge details of a case to him? You realize that is highly unprofessional and breaking the company's confidentiality policy?" His eyes widen, and his jaw becomes slack. Clearly, the little weasel didn't think I would go down that road.
I bet he wanted me to come in yelling, threaten him even, the prick is after my job. I know it.
“What is it Benny, you’re pissed daddy chose me over you? Is that what this is?” I want him to admit it.
He gets up from his seat and points his finger at me.
“This was supposed to be my position. He promised me that promotion. And then you got that big case and took that away from me.” He hisses.
"You didn't get the promotion or the big office, so you're going to try and ruin my relationship? Now, I've asked you politely once already to keep out of my business and far away from my partner. This time, I am warning you. You pull that shit again, and you will end up in front of the bar commodity for breaking attorney-client privileges so fucking fast Iron Man won't even be able to save you…do I make myself clear?"
I wait for his nod of acknowledgment before I turn to leave. That’s when Eric enters his office.
Looking back at Ben, I noticed his face is as white as his shirt. He must realize he’s been busted. His eyes widen in fear as Eric gets closer to the desk.
“Let me get this straight.Youdeliberately discussed our case outside the office. With somebody outside of the firm?” His tone is calm and even. He means business.
“It’s not…I-, Mr. Smith…” Ben starts to stutter, but Eric just lifts his hand and gestures for him to shut up.
“I’ll deal with you later,” He says to him, then turns to me. “Drew, I’m sorry that Ben seems to have forgotten his place.”
"You don't need to apologize, Eric. It's that idiot that needs to watch his mouth. He should be grateful I didn't take it to John." I seethe as I begin to bounce a little as the puppies stir. It's a miracle Eric hasn't commented on the carrier yet.
“I’ll take care of this.” He puts a hand on my shoulder and leads me out of Ben’s office. “Why on earth are you wearing a baby carrier?”
And there it is.
“Puppies.” I shrug like that’s the obvious explanation.
“You have puppies in there?” Excitement in his voice makes me smile.
“Yeah. Two of them.”
After showing Thor and Loki to Eric and giving him contact details for the shelter, because, of course he wants one for himself, I can finally leave the office.
