I need some fresh air and maybe a hug.
There is no better place to go for a hug than my sister's house. Not even to get a hug from her but to get a snot-faced cuddle from Violet. The hug, however, only lasted about zero point three seconds before she realized I had puppies sleeping on my chest in the carrier. "PUPPIES!" she squeals at a pitch I'm sure could break the nearby glass.
RYAN
I’m waiting outside our house for Drew to leave for work on Wednesday morning. I arrive at seven thirty A.M, but it was not until an hour later that I see him come out. My heart speeds up when I notice he’s wearing a carrier. Damn, he couldn’t be more perfect, I thought to myself. When he drives off, after securing the pups in his car, we get into action.
Everything I took from the apartment was waiting patiently in Gavin’s trunk. I’m about to call him to confirm we’re clear to go when I spot him turning the corner. I wave him over, and he parks on the spot that Drew drove off from not so long ago.
“We’re doing this, or what?” Carter says, as he steps out of the car.
“Hell, yes!” I say with a clarity I didn’t yet have two days ago. Today… Everything is clear.
We bring my boxes in, and the guys help me sort everything out. It’s not much, but I don’t know when Drew will be back, so I gotta work quickly. He took Thor and Loki so he won’t be long.
One hour later the place looks like I never left.
We bring my boxes in, and the guys help me sort everything out. It's not much. I could have done it by myself, but I don't know when Drew will be back, and I don't want him to catch me mid-unpacking. That's why I need the guys to help me out.
“We’ll be sure to remember that, and don’t worry. We got you.” Gavin says, and Carter nods his head.
“Anytime, my man. Anytime.” He confirms.
We say our goodbyes, and I’m able to soak this all in. I’m back where I belong. And my boys are going to be home soon.
Soon, it is not. I’m walking around the house, worrying because it’s almost four P.M. and they’re still not here. Maybe something happened to them. Oh God, please, no.
I’m about give in and call Drew, spoil the surprise - fuck it all up, when I hear the door open.
“You see. It wasn’t so bad, right?” Is Drew talking to someone? “You’re good boys, aren’t you?” Oooohhh, he’s talking to the puppies. “Come on, let’s get some sleep after all this excitement you had…”
That’s the moment he spots me in the living room. He seems surprised, but as he carries Thor and Loki to their pen, he spots the rug I took laid out on the floor, back in its rightful place. He leaves the dogs in their spot and hesitates before coming closer.
“Drew…” I start but he cuts me off.
“What is this?” He asks, confused.
“Would you sit down with me for a moment?” I gesture toward the couch. “I want to tell you something.”
My heart is pounding in my chest. Will he let me say it? He looks at me with eyes full of doubt but does as I ask.
“Okay, let’s talk.” He encourages me to speak.
"I know you think I need more time, that I'm rushing this decision, but I'm not. If anything, I've taken too long to come to this realization. I allowed my past to dictate my actions when I left. The fear that I was allowing myself to be manipulated and controlled like Josh had done to me was overwhelming. I made a few comments to you that I was pissed you missed a date or whatever, but did I ever actually tell you just how lonely and neglected I had been feeling? No, I didn't because I was convinced you didn't care,"
I watch him visibly wince at the reminder of his behavior, but I rush to continue. I'm not here to make him feel bad. Sliding my hand into his, I squeeze.
"What I didn't stop to think about was how I could have altered the path we were on by forcing that information in front of your face. If I had sat you down and explained fully, you would have done something about it because you love me. I see that now. I was so far up my own ass or in my own head that I forgot who you are at the core. You are not this malicious person who just abandons their loved ones. You are a great man, Andrew. I was the fool, but I'm not willing to be a fool any longer. I want this life with you. This life where we talk openly. The good and the bad, where we have dates in the dog park, even if I have to come down to your office and drag you home sometimes. I want that life because you are it for me. We are a team, and teams have team meetings and Avengers Assemble.
My smile is watery now, my emotions are getting the best of me even though I have been practicing this speech for hours. But sitting here looking at his handsome face as silence falls between us, I have to keep reminding myself that even if he tells me no right now, I won't give up.
"Whenever you're ready, Cap, I'm not giving up this time. I'm never going to walk away from us again," I squeeze his hand again, wanting him to know how much I mean the shit I'm saying.
"Ben was trying to ruin our relationship because he was jealous I got the promotion over him." Well fuck. I wasn't expecting that. What an asshole.
He looks around the living room, then at me again with amusement in his eyes.
“That’s a really nice rug, but maybe we should move it in case the puppies take a leak on it.” I cut off his laugh with a bruising kiss.
