I just shrugged. Why was I even creeping on her underwear drawer? Yeah, she was sexy andmaybeI was picturing her insome of this, but she’d also assaulted me twice. Ugh. She’d lookamazingin this blue thing that looked like it covered literally nothing.
Yeah, I wasn’t doing this anymore. I didn’t even know what clothes she wanted. I was going to wait somewhere without panties and puke. Fuck this. It was like Wrathhog making the souls choose between castration and being disemboweled. There wasn’t a single option that wasn’t shitty.
I exited her bedroom just as they were running out of her office.No regretsabout not going in there. They were all dry heaving.
“Holy shit, it’s like that Barf O’Rama scene inStand By Mein there and the pea soup scene inThe Exorcisthad a projectile-barf baby in there,” Sydney gagged.
Yeah, not going in there. I could smell it from the hall. What the fuck did her ex eat? The bad parts of hell where the souls were smelled like Sulfur and brimstone and it didn’t even smell like this down there.
He should probably see a healer about that.
“So, we run in, grab the books, and run out,” Celix said.
I knew how he got when he was psyching himself up and yeah, he was doing that right now. He was going to need it.
“I know we can’t open the window, but I can’t decide if breaking into my scented-candle collection is going to make it worse.”
“It couldn’t possibly be worse. Momma told me if I ever needed to do this, she wasn’t going to judge me. I guess I forgot the part where she said to curse and run,” Nero groaned.
“It couldn’t be avoided,” I said. “We had to get rid of him.”
It was true, but Nero was like a giant puppy. He was honestly one of the best people I knew and I always wanted to make it better when someone was shitting on him or he was just feelingbad about himself. Apparently, Sidney did, too, because she wrapped her arm around his waist.
“Hey, when we’re away from the smell, I’m going to laugh my ass off thinking about him projectile vomiting on the girl he cheated on me with. I’ll get my candles. Maybe if I light all of them, it won’t be so bad.”
“Then, you can start on your clothes, because I’m not guessing what you want to bring,” I snapped.
Plus, how many sexy bras and panties did one woman need? She wasn’t even a succubus. I wasn’t dealing with that.
I also wasn’t dealing with the puke room, candles or no. We needed to get back home.
It took my entire collection of very expensive, double-wicked candles to cover the smell, but we eventually got everything I wanted to keep and left. They didn’t burn all the way down because they were thegoodcandles, so I took them with me because I didn’t know if there was some kind of demon that made scented candles in Hell.
Kujo bitched about taking several trips to bring everything back since, apparently, they didn’tdothat for Cambion, but fuck it, they should. I finally had my precious with me. I was less worried about the clothes, but I couldn’t buy those books in Hell and some of them were special editions.
“So, I have a present for you,” Celix beamed. “It’s piggybacking off Nero’s present, but you won’t have to smell it.”
“You didn’t!” Nero gasped.
Kujo just rolled his eyes and Celix whipped out a toothbrush like he was proud of himself.
“Um, dental hygiene is important, but that’s Karl’s toothbrush.”
“I know!” Celix yelled, clapping his hands.
“Dude, usually you’re supposed to swirl along the rim of the toilet and leave it so they brush their teeth with it.”
“No, demon thing. If you have something from a person in the mortal realm, you can watch them through a mirror. I caught his scent when he was leaving and found something of his. If you want to watch it go down when he tries to have sex with his young girlfriend and gets sick everywhere, you can do that now.”
“Just do it in private so Nero doesn’t get in trouble,” Kujo growled. “I don’tthinkanyone in this house will rat on him, but don’t automatically assume you have their loyalty because of your father.”
“Listen, I wouldneverget Nero in trouble on purpose. I need your help so I don’t do it accidentally.”
“Why is Nero in trouble?” Wrathhog said, breezing into the room.
“Shit, make some noise. You’re quieter than a Felid demon.”
Wrathhog just shrugged.
