“He didn’t just break it, princess. Your ex is going to get violently ill any time he wants to get turned on. It’s illegal for Nero to do that in Hell, so you’d better not talk about it and get him in trouble for it since it’syourex.”
“Shit, Nero, don’t get in trouble for me. And that shouldn’t be illegal. Some people deserve that.”
“Hold that thought, sweetness,” Nero said.
His eyes swirled black again, and I felt some kind of magic coming from him. I heard Karl holler and then the sound of him violently puking. Well, damn. Remind me to never piss off an incubus or succubus. Karl seemed to be vomiting for hours.
“All over my fucking rug. That rug really tied the room together.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you wanted it.”
“I was just making a joke. How long before he stops puking and leaves?”
Nero just shrugged.
“Depends how much he ate. It’s an ‘entire stomach contents’ kind of curse.”
Karl eventually got control of his stomach. I heard him stomp out and slam the front door without cleaning up. If the Urban Dictionary had a photo to go with Man Flu, Karl’s picture would be there. He took a week off work over an ingrown toenail once. Of course, he just left it when he puked all over my office after getting cursed by a demon.
Asshole.
Kujo refused to come with us, so it was just the three of us when we went to get my laptop and books out of my office. He mumbled something about packing up my clothes.
“You’d better not get weird with my panties,” I called as he left.
Kujo just flipped me off over his shoulder.
“What’s his deal?”
“I think he’d be okay with you kicking him in the nuts again as long as you didn’t puke on him. He doesn’t handle bodily fluids well at all,” Nero said.
“Good luck for him because I hate puking and can’t do it on command. Oh, wow. You didn’t just make him sick. That is, like,Exorcist-level puking. There’s some on the ceiling fan. If you’d warned me, I’d have gone to supervise Kujo around my lingerie.”
Celix dry heaved.
“Don’t you sympathy puke in here!” I screeched.
“Sorry, it’s just that this has been illegal in Hell since before I was born. I’ve never actuallyseenthe results of it.”
Now I was dry heaving because Karl had eaten a lot of eggs and it smelled like someone fished a diaper out of a Port a Potty during Lilith Fair. Damn. I could taste it. We couldn’t even open the window because I wasn’t supposed to be here and my nosy neighbor would have her pastor here if she saw Celix and Nero. That was thelastthing I needed.
“Okay, so, I get my laptop, and we run in and out grabbing any books that don’t have stomach contents on them.”
“Sorry about your books.”
“Oh, no. The visual of him doing this when I’m not around to have to smell it is worth it. You’re a beast, Nero. It’s sexy as fuck you did that for me, and I won’t tell anyone to get you in trouble. I think you should be able to defend yourself when needed and the snobs don’t like admitting the demons they are fucking are actually more powerful than they are.”
Nero’s spine straightened.
“Thanks. It’sreallygross in here, so let’s get your things and get back.”
Because yeah, this had been my house for a while, but I guess it wasn’t anymore. I didn’t know the first thing about Hell and what I did know, I wanted to change.
But I couldn’t deny there was something about the place that feltright.
Packing lingerie was beneath me, but I had gotten stuck in a foster home where there was like, ten of us packed in a three-bedroom house and the woman wasn’t all that great at cooking. She served dodgy chicken one night and everyone was projectile vomiting. It soundedexactlylike what was going on in the next room. I knew what it was going to look like in there.No thank you.
Where the fuck did this even go? And you couldn’t possibly fit boobs in that without shoving them under your chin. Wouldn’t that hurt? I got why men liked thongs, but why did Sydney have so many of them? Wouldn’t it chafe your ass?
