He nodded.
“I think you took a wrong turn.”
“It’s a short cut.”
“Oh… um… really? But you’re going west.”
This couldn’t be a short cut. We were driving away from the party, back toward my house.Was he taking me back home?Oh, the relief.
Goosebumps erupted over my nape and arms. Something wasn’t right. Every scenario that raced through my mind ended with my death. Although I hated the very idea of this date, I wasn’t suicidal… yet. This was a big mistake. I tried maintaining a very relaxed, graceful demeanor. Never show a predator you’re afraid, it just makes them hungrier.
Seconds later, I asked, “Mael… where are we going?” He took a sharp left onto the road leading to Kissing Rock Park. That wasn’t the official name, but everyone knew that’s where the kids went to make out and have sex, up until last year when a girl was found dead. “Wait. What are we doing here?”
“Calm down, Magdalena, I just forgot I was meeting up with some of my friends and their girlfriends here so that we could all arrive at the party together.”
“First you tell me you’re taking a short cut, now we are here? Why meet here—Strange place to meet. Aren’t we going to be late?—”
He chuckled. “Jesus Christ. Are you always this jumpy? I remembered about meeting here as I was driving to the short cut. And there’s no such thing as being late to a party. Relax. I’m not going to kill you.” He patted my thigh then squeezed it, forcing my entire body to tense up.
Mael floored it up the steep hill, forcing my back against the seat. It was so dark I could only see what was right in front of the headlights. I took a deep breath. “Do you come here often? You seem to know the road well.”
“I’ve come here enough times.” He nodded while smiling, and once again turned his gaze to me. “How about you?”
That smile. What the fuck? The way he was looking at me. He undressed me with his eyes, then licked his lips. Yuck. After the smile wore down, I noticed his eyes were almost bugging out and not blinking at a normal rate. It looked so macabre. Was he high on something? It wouldn’t surprise me if he was.
“No. This park… I’ve heard too many bad stories about it. Just last year, there was that girl—” A memory rushed to my mind at the words, and my ears popped due to the altitude, making me feel as if I were under water again.
Our gazes locked. “A girl who what?” he asked. Another chill ran through me, but this time, it consumed me. I coughed,struggling to breathe, choking. A memory of me underwater, drowning, flashed through my mind.When did that happen?
“You, okay?”
I nodded as a response. The coughing eventually died down.Thank God.
He did appear to be clueless about that girl, with not a shred of guilt or hint of him being involved in her disappearance on his face. I wrinkled my eyebrows, wondering. Holding his gaze, I gasped, almost jumping off my seat when a tire dropped into a pothole.
“Sorry. Got distracted,” he said, chuckling.
I faked a chuckle and took another deep breath. I hadn’t been this nervous and scared since I got out of the psych ward. God, I hated emotions.Calm down and think.She was a young, non-aristocratic girl like me, found dead somewhere out here. One of too many recent unsolved cases in the country.
I was anxious to call home, but if I tried to tell anyone where we were, how would he react? The truth was, I already knew, but I didn’t want to face it. At the top of the hill, he quickly parked in the empty area where there was a mix of dirt and gravel. He got out and walked around the car to open my door. “Come. Let’s wait for them out here.”
Overlooking the entire city, all the way to the dark ocean, we sat on the warm hood of the car. Mael lit a hand-rolled cigarette. After taking a drag, he offered it to me, but I shook my head. “Take it, Magdalena. It won’t kill you. Hell, it might help you relax. You’re wound so tight.”
I gripped my purse for dear life. My lungs rejected the smoke, and I almost coughed them out while he laughed at me. Only after inhaling did I understand it wasn’t a cigarette, it was weed. The silliness settled in quickly, like I hadn’t relaxed in many years. He laughed at the giggles bursting out of me.Mael, akiller, yeah, right.It felt good to not be hyperaware, paranoid, and analyzing every micro expression.
“I’ve always liked you. You know that, right?” Even when he demanded the answer from me with his eyes, I didn’t respond. I continued staring at the ocean because it was as dark and faraway as many parts of my memory. To this day, I couldn’t understand how I was in an asylum for an entire year and couldn’t remember most of it. Dr. Laurent kept telling us it was from the trauma of what’d I done. I never told Mom and Dad about all the scars I had all over my body after I got out there.
“You don’t know me, Mael.” All the things I’d done crossed my mind. I could be a better sister, but I was too numb and couldn’t stand caring about anything or anyone else. I almost killed my mother and myself. Also, apparently, I fell in love with a boy who burned his entire home and family, then disappeared.It’s not true. Killian wouldn’t do that, defended the little girl inside me.What really happened, Killian?I sighed.
For I don’t know how long, we stayed there in silence with the symphony of frogs and bugs in the background. His voice almost startled me, but I hid it this time. “You say that I don’t know you, but that’s not true. We’ve been through twelve years of school together, Magdalena, and all along, I watched you… through everything. I know more than you would guess.”
A laugh burst out of me. “Oh yeah? What do you know?”
“I know that the whole year you were out of school, you were in that asylum. That must have been fun, huh?” My smile disappeared as guilt and shame filled every part of my body. Those were the only two emotions that could sneak into me, no matter how much I fought them, no matter how numb I was.I never meant to harm Mommy. I swear, I didn’t. Did I?He met my horrified gaze, offering me the weed. I inhaled slowly this time and coughed, but not as violently as the first time.I wasdesperate to get rid of the emotions and hoped the weed would help.
“I know you tried to kill yourself… and your mother. They had to pump both your stomachs. They resuscitated you, twice. Didyouknow that?”No, I didn’t. They fought for my life and then forgot me in a nuthouse.
No. It wasn’t like that. Daddy fought for me, but the judge refused to let me out.I refused to look at him and instead stared at the chasm before us. “I know why you did it.” He smiled.
