EvenIdidn’t know why I had done it. For some reason, there was very little I remembered, not only about the psych ward but also about the entire month before. When Mom and Dad had told me what I did, it didn’t even sound like me. Dad had no choice but to call an ambulance, and once the authorities knew what happened, they forced my parents to sign me into the asylum. At least, that’s what they’d said. Out of curiosity and in half a trance, I asked Mael, “Why?”
“Because… your parents coddled you so much that they choked you. They tried to stuff you with innocence.” He paused, and we studied each other’s eyes. I didn’t like anyone trying to shed a bad light on my parents. They loved me and did the best they could with what they had. Hell, they did great with the monster they had. As if he could read my mind he added, “They wouldn’t tell you what Killian did.”Yeah. That shut me up quick. I’d been thinking of everything else but not that.
Trying my best to look and sound like the biggest idiot on earth, I asked, “Killian?”
He laughed hard. “Don’t try to act like you don’t remember, darling. You’re wearing his ring. Again. On a datewith me.” His fist pounded his chest for the last two words, making him appear like some wild monkey.
It was as if I were the Wizard of Oz and he’d pulled down the curtain. He caught me.
“I want you, Magdalena, but I know you’re not an idiot. I’m not either. I know every bad thing about you, and still, despite it all, I want you. I know all this time… you’ve just been acting.” He paused. “We’re perfect for each other. You wanted me too. Before you talked to him, you wanted me. I’ve waited and waited… and waited. I’ve done unimaginable things…for you.He left you. I’d never do that. Never.” He slowly shook his head as he turned to look at me.
With the high further clouding and numbing me, I wondered if I followed his words correctly.You wanted me too. I’ve done unimaginable things…for you.“Wait, what are you talking about?” I shrugged, furrowing my brow at the absurdity of his words. “I met you both in the second grade. We were just kids. All I wanted was to have fun with friends, Mael.” He flicked what little was left of the weed into the dark abyss to my right. “And what do you mean you’ve done unimaginable things for me?”
“Yeah? Then how come it was so hard to get you to join the rest of us, huh? Why did you ‘marry him’ a few years later?” He rolled his eyes at the words marry him.
“What do you care? It’s not like I belonged to you?—”
“God! You just don’t get it,” he ground out.
“Or maybe I don’t care to get it.” I turned, wanting to return to the car, and when I was about to ask about his friends, he yanked my arm, spinning me. My chest clashed against sternum. His arms enveloped me, and when I pushed against his chest, it changed nothing.
Despite the weed, the tight space set off all my alarm bells. I couldn’t breathe. “Shh—stop! Stop!” He didn’t release me. “Mael, stop!” I screamed louder, wasting energy. Black spots filled my periphery. Why did I feel so weak?What’s happening?I couldn’t stand being held so tightly. It stole my breath and energy. I gasped for air twice, and a thin sheet of sweat formed on my skin. His lips crashed to mine, and his tongue lashedinto my mouth. “No!” I cringed away from him, but he had me trapped. Ugh, the way he kissed so aggressively, it was nauseating.My first kiss… like this… yuck.
“You’re fucking mine,” he said through his teeth.
“No! Mael, I mean it, stop.” The dizziness, the lack of oxygen, the weakening heat, and the desperation to have my own space again overwhelmed me. Why wasn’t he listening? I tried so hard to overcome the exhaustion. He pulled my head forward with his palms plastered to my temples and cheeks, almost crushing me. I groaned in protest, trying to let him know I didn’t want this. Why was he not getting the hint? Why wasn’t he letting me go? Was this really how he wanted to kiss me? Unable to put up with it anymore, I bit his bottom lip until I tasted copper.
Mael grunted. “Fuck!” I licked the blood from my lips while watching more of it trail down his chin, and I couldn’t hold back the smile that spread on my face. A giddiness rushed through me, not only because I was able to breathe in enough to expand my lungs, but because the cold breeze on my shoulders calmed me. I tried to suppress it, to push away the reason for my joy—I liked seeing it, the bright-red blood streaming from his lip. It was actually a lot.There, now he looks good.
I backed away from him, but before I could react, he slapped me. The force was so great, I fell to the ground. I was bleeding from my lips. The handprint burned my cheek, even my gums. The impact was so great, my jaw had popped. I massaged it, trying to ease the pain and find a way to close my mouth again, wondering if he’d dislocated it, while refusing to cry. Maybe I deserved it. I mean, Iwaschuckling while he bled, instead of apologizing or explaining myself.
Nah … fuck that.
“You like that, you bitch? Now you’re bleeding too. Wanna hear me laughing at you?” I crawled away from him, but he came up behind me, lifting me by my hair. My torso curved, and Istruggled until I found the knife in my purse, then pushed the sheath away with my thumb. I lifted the knife, slicing his hand. I couldn’t believe how amazing it would feel to hold the knife as it sliced through his skin and the tissues beneath it, and then to watch it bleed.
“Ow, fuck! You brought a fucking knife? What the fuck, Maggie?”
I mean, yes, I had helped Mom cook, I had sliced meat before, but this, this was different. He was alive, the meat was tender and bled so easily. It heated my body as if I were blushing all over, and for the first time in my life, my pussy throbbed, dampening and aching all at the same time. My face burned. I might have been a virgin, but there was no denying what I was feeling.
He hissed.Who’s afraid now, asshole?I wanted to feel it again so badly, so I repeated my action. The knife floated through the air, catching his fingers one more time, it forced him to yank his hands away and stop trying to grab me.
“You fucking bitch!” The words echoed.
As I stood, I mocked him. “Where are your friends?” My stupid smile disappeared as soon as I heard cars approaching. I couldn’t help but swallow deeply when I turned around to multiple car lights brightening and climbing up the hill. He used the distraction to yank the knife away from me.Fuck!Mael laughed and threw the knife into the forest several yards behind his car.
Fuck!
It wasn’t an easy run. The grass was so high and thick, and my skirt went to my ankles. After getting caught too many times, I lifted it, allowing the branches to scrape my legs. If it hadn’t been for the old moon’s light glinting off the knife, I would’ve never found it. The relief had me rolling my eyes closed for asecond. I picked it up and stuffed it back in my purse, running fast and hard through tangled ivy and bushes of all types.
Only for a second did I dare turn and saw he was way behind me. I was relieved prince-wannabe couldn’t handle the chaos that was this wilderness. Tires screeched, and too soon after, his friends’ cellphones lit through the darkness of the bush. But I was inside an ivy tunnel. They couldn’t see me from the edge of the underbrush.
“Magdalena…” they called out for me again and again.
It took everything not to scream at the feel of tiny legs crawling on my skin. I slapped the bug away, then took out my phone and silenced it, only to discover there was no signal.Are you kidding me? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
It was as I’d feared. That girl who had been found dead up here last year… None of it was an coincidence.
I’m the next dead girl.
