She clicked off as the door opened and Jussica, with her braids flying behind her, rushed in, holding a Happy Meal box. “Look what Nana bought me.”
Before I could shake off the remnants of my upsetting conversation, Jussica rammed into me, full of light and energy, shifting my dark mood. I kissed her cheek. “Did you have a good day?”
“Yep. I got an “A” on my math quiz just like you said.” She smiled, her missing tooth finally coming back. I already missed her snaggle tooth appearance.
“That’s my smart girl.” I held my hand up high, and she jumped to tap the edge of my palm. “See how hard work pays off. That means we celebrate.”
We both danced silly at her success, and I marveled at how much I loved this little girl who turned my whole world upside down. As hard as it had been, Mara's leaving forced me into fully accepting fatherhood.
The good.
The bad.
The ugly.
Jussica finally slept the entire night without me having to sit by her side. Her laughter and humming became commonplace in our home. She told me how much she looked forward to the summer since she was going to start a dance and cheerleading camp, and my mother and I were taking her to Disney World. She no longer asked to live with her mother and rarely asked when Mara would return.
I had also found a private school near my job to cut down on the commute that Jussica loved when we visited. I legally couldn’t enroll her in school yet, and encouraged Jussica to tell her mother every time they spoke about how much she wanted to attend this school and that she needed her permission too. Mara had yet to give Jussica an answer if she agreed to change schools. Yet another reason I needed legal rights to my daughter.
“That’s why Nana bought me this.” She held her colorful cardboard box high.
Over Jussica’s head, I frowned at my mother. “Thought you were the nurse?”
“A little McDonald’s now and then isn’t going to hurt her.” Mama plopped down in the chair in front of my desk. Whenevershe was in the city working, she picked up Jussica and dropped her off at home or my office if I had to work late.
Jussica climbed into my chair and swung it around. “It’s Friday, Daddy. Me and Mama always had hamburgers on Friday. Can we go to the park tomorrow?”
“Clean first,” Mama instructed. “Your room is a mess.”
Her pretty little forehead dipped. “It’s my room.”
“And you need to clean it.” Mama continued.
“What if I like my room messy?” She swung the chair in a circle, and I stopped it mid-spin.
“Little one, we don’t go back and forth with Nana.”
“I’m not going back and forth,” Jussica replied.
“You’re doing it now.” Anticipating Jussica’s intent to spin again, I held on to the chair.
“What am I doing?” Her forehead wrinkled in confusion, and my resolve to be firm loosened.
In a less firm tone, I explained, “When Nana or I tell you to do something, I need you to do it without saying anything besides, ‘okay’ or ‘yes, sir or ma’am’.”
“I’ll do what you ask without saying anything else if it makes sense.” She nodded, and I released the chair and smirked at my mother. I had the same logic. Hell, I still did that at work. I never went along with the orders from the top unless I understood how it could help the city and my staff.
“No, it’s whatever I say, you need to do,” My mother added. Something I heard countless times growing up.
“Then make sure whatever you need me to do makes sense to me.” Jussica started swirling the chair again.
Mama glared at her granddaughter before exchanging glances with me. “I can’t believe I have to help raise you all over again.”
I ducked my head to hide my laughter from Jussica. She might have spent her first seven years with her mother, but shewas all mine. Most days, she and I were on the same page. Living in harmony and peace. When we weren’t, we battled. She would argue and yell, and I would raise my voice until she complied. As much as I wanted her to toe the line with me, I also respected her sense of freedom and rebellion. I didn’t want a daughter who would one day be a woman taking shit off people, especially men. I wanted her to be like Soraya, who would rather be alone than accept nothing less than what she expected in her man. Damn. I love that woman.
“Nana, don’t be mad. I agree with most of what you say. Just not cleaning my room. But if that’s what I have to do before daddy takes me to the park, then I will.” She swung around again. “It’s just going to get messy again. I’m not neat like you.”
“Or me.” I chimed in.
