Arianna: Because you won’t let me.
Leo: It has to be a safety hazard for one woman to have seven children by herself.
Arianna: Stone is there too! He’s not completely incapable.
Stone: Thanks, Princess. I appreciate the vote of confidence in my ability to adult around children.
Sebastian: Is there an actual ratio for adults-to-children in these situations?
Me: Yes. Depending on the age, it’s usually something like one adult to fifteen children. The younger the kids, the lower the ratio.
Leo: Did you know that info, or did you google it?
Me: Both?
Hannah: I love that you’re not sure of the answer.
Alex: I’ve found another pickle. STOP HIDING FUCKING PICKLES IN MY HOUSE, LUCA
Luca: I swear it wasn’t me this time!
Sebastian: Christ Almighty. I just found a pickle behind Isabella’s coffee cup in the cabinet.
Natalie: Guys! I saw Mason, and I’m following him into the forest. Maybe I’ll find his lair!
Alex: Baby, that’s not a good idea. Are you alone? Not cool.
Luca: I don’t think she’s alone. I’m fairly positive Hannah is with her.
Stone: Arianna snuck out ten minutes ago.
Leo: Do they have a separate girls chat?
Dominic: Obviously. We have a chat as well.
Dominic: Also, I can’t find Kate.
Leo: Ella isn’t answering my texts or calls.
Sebastian: How the fuck did they all skip out at the same time, without us noticing?
Leo: We were too busy talking about pickles and lie detector equipment.
Leo: I wish I could leave this chat, but I know you’ll just pop me right back in here.
Alex: If we all have to be in here, you do as well. Honestly, we’re lucky Mom, Dad, and Nonna aren’t in here. They never shut up.
Nonna: Clearly I shut up just fine, Alessio. I’ve been silently reading this text chain for months.
Nonna: Your wives just sent me a picture of them beside a marmot burrow.
Nonna: They’ve found Mason’s lair.
Nonna: Oh my.
Luca: What?
Dominic: Nonna, spit it out! Katharine won’t answer my calls.
