Nonna: There are pups.
Alex: Come again?
Nonna: You have children, Alessio. Clearly you understand the concept of procreation.
Stone: I think what he’s trying to say is, where is Mason’s wife, partner, spouse, etc.?
Leo: I think she means Mason is the mother.
Travis: For fuck’s sake. No one ever checked to see if Mason was male or female?
Sebastian: I don’t know about you, but I’m staying the hell away from a feral marmot. I don’t care if it’s a male or female.
Luca: Well, I fucking care! That fucker has taken so many of my things.
Hannah: Relax. I got your hats back. Most of them. I left one. She seemed pretty attached to it, and one of the babies was napping in it. Quite cute, actually.
Me: That was so exciting! Is this typical for a Santo event? Sneaking out to track down a wild animal?
Leo: I wish I could say no, but there’s really no telling with this family.
Leo: Welcome home, Ladybug.
Me: This is the best day ever! Can we get a pet marmot?
Leo: No.
Me: Aw, shucks. Why not?
Luca: I’ve got a connection who can get you a boatload of guinea pigs if you’re interested.
Me: Ooooooo! Guinea pigs!
Leo: No.
Natalie: Let’s all get guinea pigs! We could have little piggy play dates!
Hannah: You should see the setup Luca’s friend Jax has. There’s an entire room in his apartment for his piggies.
Kate: I’m totally on board with the guinea pigs.
Isabella: Me too!
Gianna: Why did I wake up to one hundred text notifications?
Me: Why the hell are you napping right now? You missed all the fun!
Stone: I just found another pickle. What the actual fuck.
Luca: Okay. That one was me.
Stone: So you’ve pickled my house, AND you suggested we should all get guinea pigs?
Stone: Payback is a fucking bitch, Luca.
Dominic: Never a dull day in the Santo Shenanigan group chat.
Leo: I apologize now for what my wife just sent all of your spouses.
