“Is this what you wanted as a child?”I ask her point-blank, seizing the moment while Ian is in the kitchen checking on dinner.
“I don’t know.I never really thought about it until I met the O’Connors.But now, I can’t imagine anything else.”
“You don’t remember what it was like, do you?”I know I shouldn’t push her, shouldn’t risk shattering her calm, but the question burns inside me.
Am I really the only one stuck reliving the past?
“Of course I remember,” she says, looking straight at me.“Every day, every hour, every detail.They’re always right in front of my eyes.”
“And how do you do that?”
“What do you mean?”
“How do you live through all of this without getting sucked into the spiral of memories?”
“This is what happens to you, Jamie?”
“Can you just answer my question?”
Riley turns to me, then points towards the kitchen, where Ian is standing at the stove.
“You mean it’s all because of O’Connor?”
“There is something that makes the difference, Jamie.”
“Only one person can do that?”
She turns back to me.“Only you can make that difference.”
“I don’t understand.”
Riley touches my chest with her fingertip.“That’s the difference.We always carry it inside us, but sometimes you need to see yourself through someone else’s eyes to understand who you are and what you can give.”
I shake my head.“Bullshit.”
“Sometimes we can’t really see ourselves, even when we stare into the mirror and search for any sign.But when we see ourselves through someone else, Jamie, we notice the things we usually deny.”
She couldn’t have read my mind… could she?
“It’s not easy to accept ourselves.We’re always too hard on ourselves, but the people who love us help us forgive, and remind us that beyond the darkness, there’s a world of colour worth living for.”
“The O’Connors are a bad influence, you know that?”
She smiles.“The O’Connors showed me all the nuances of life.”
“I told you to knock, Nick!”
“But I have the key!”
“This is not your house!”
Our conversation is interrupted at the most personal moment, and maybe that’s a good thing.I couldn’t handle another lesson from Riley.For once, the O’Connors did something right.
“See?”Ian calls from the kitchen.“Two places are always needed.”
“Sorry, we barged in like this,” Casey says.She glances at Nick, then turns to the others.“Nick told me we were going to eat out, but he didn’t specify where.”She folds her arms across her chest, her sideways glance lingering on him.
Nick shrugs and walks towards us.“How is my favourite woman?”
