“A man capable of love?”
Chris sighs.
“I’ve always known that.”
“You still got involved, though.”
“You know me.”
“You always believe.And hope.Have you tried talking to him about it?”
I wanted to, but after last night, after the tiny glimmer he gave me, and after we said goodbye this morning with a smile and a kiss, I didn’t have the courage to bring it up.
“I don’t want to end up spending another night on your sofa; besides, I don’t thinkMr Musclewould be too happy about that.”
“He might set fire to the sofa just so he wouldn’t have to see you sitting on it.”
“I can imagine that.”I get up and kiss her on the cheek.“I have to run to the hospital.I’ll see you when Evan gets back from his trip, then?”
“Just don’t disappear again in the meantime, okay?”
I smile at her and leave the café for the car park.My steps slow as I reach my car, and my hands tremble slightly when I open the door and sit behind the wheel.The emptiness lingers, the same feeling he left me with this morning when he wouldn’t let me drive him to his sister’s house.Even though it’s now O’Connor’s domain, he didn’t want them to see getting out of my car or to know he’d stayed at my place.He didn’t want them to know about us.I still don’t understand why.
I might not be his secret anymore, but the Captain still keeps plenty of his own.He clings to them.If you can’t share what’s on your mind, what worries you, what hurts you, it must mean you don’t really want to let anyone in.
The Captain keeps me out, yet I’ve let him in completely.
Chapter59
Jamie
Ispent the whole day at Riley’s.I wanted to be with her and my niece.Her husband is always there, and the O’Connors come and go, but Riley is my only family, even if I have to share her.
I took Jamie to the park, ate lunch with everyone, and napped with her on the sofa.These simple moments helped me recharge and quiet the noisy thoughts in my head.
I decided to stay for dinner too, making the most of their hospitality and forgetting everything else until I have to go home.
“Add two more places,” Ian tells me as I set the table.
“Who’s joining us?”
“I don’t know.Just add them.”
“You mean someone shows up and bothers you every night?”
“At least three times a week.”
“Lucky you.”
My sister comes in with Jamie in her arms.“Don’t pretend you mind,” she says Ian.
“And you don’t mind?”I ask her.
“I love having people around.A big family, like we never had,” she concludes softly.
She’s right.We never had that, and maybe she missed it more than I did.
I got used to it being just the two of us for years, and then just me.That’s how I grew up, so I don’t miss what I never had.But maybe it’s different for her.The O’Connors have changed her, and now she acts like she grew up with them.It’s like she’s forgotten what it was like for us.
