“Is that because everyone usually falls at your feet before you even get to say ‘fuck it’?”
“More or less.”
I nod, a weight settling in my chest.“What do you want, Captain?We’ve nothing left to say.I told you that a few hours ago.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Of course you don’t.You can’t stand the thought that Doctor Loser might actually be done before you are.”
“Don’t.”
“What are you on about?”I ask, exhausted.
“Don’t give up on me.”
“What is it for you?A challenge, a game, an obsession?”
“Yes.It is.An obsession.”
I open my mouth to reply, but he gets there first.
“I’m obsessed with you.”
“That doesn’t exactly sound like a good thing, you know?”
“I can’t get you out of my head.I can’t forget your smell.I can still feel you on my skin, even after a week.”
He pushes off the car door and takes a few slow steps towards me.
“I can’t forget your hands, your kisses, your mouth…”
A shiver runs through me, sharp and electric.I hate how much his words still get to me.
“So that’s what this is about?”
Dignity, I remind myself.Like my son said.
“No.I mean… I don’t know.”
“They sound like fairly weak reasons to me.”
“Can you just…” He waves his hands, then drags them through his hair.The memory of my fingers tangled there hits me hard, and all sense goes straight out the window.“Just…” He lets out a long breath, looking even more exhausted than I feel.“Don’t give up on me.”
His honesty is bad enough, but the torment in his eyes is worse.
“What’s really going on?Are you afraid of commitment, terrified of being hurt, or just not the type who knows how to open up?Which is it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is that your handy answer?”
“It’s my honest answer.”
“That’s not good enough for me, Captain.”
“Then what do you want?Just tell me.”
“I don’t want any games.I don’t want excuses or empty words.I don’t want to be toyed with.”
