“Because you’re you, Nick.”
“And you want me? Seriously?”
“You’ve always been you. I never stopped loving you, from the minute we met. And I realise how pathetic it is, but for me, there’s never been anyone else. I never even tried. I didn’twantto love anyone else. I just wanted to love you.”
“You want me,” I repeat, stupefied.
“I want you, you idiot.” She slides her hands over my cheeks. “I just want Nick O’Connor. Come home. Come back to me. And, this time, please stay.”
Now I really am crying. And I’m sure she’s noticed.
I brush the wet hair away from her eyes and take her face in my hands.
“You know that I’m not who you think I am, right? That I’ve told you so many lies, that I’m good for nothing, Casey. I’m just a liar.”
She reaches onto her tiptoes and presses her face against mine. Her hands slide to the back of my neck and she strokes me, gently.
“You’re the most beautiful lie I’ve ever been told, Nick O’Connor. And the only lie I want to believe in.”
Then her eyes give me the only thing I ever needed.
They give me light; that lantern, guiding me through the storm. Leading me somewhere I feel safe, surrounded by love.
Her eyes are bringing me home.
“You’re the only thing in my life that’s real, Casey Madigan.”
Her smile opens into a beam, as the water keeps falling, mixing with our tears, our joy. Our happiness.
“Let’s move on together. And this time, no one’s getting left behind.”
I lean into her lips and brush gently against them. I want to taste her, to breathe her in; I want to drink in the water, letting it flush through my veins, replacing every drop of blood. I want to feel her running through me, keeping me alive, giving me strength, and…everything.
That’s what she is.
She’severything.
Casey jumps up and wraps her legs around my waist – with difficulty, thanks to her soaking, skin-tight jeans. I hold her against me, keeping her up by her butt cheeks, as she smiles again, kisses me again, loves me again.
And in that moment, in my shower, holding her in my arms, with love raining around us, I feel like myself. I feel like the real Nick.
And I never need to tell another lie again.
73
Casey
Once we’d got out of the shower, Nick helped me out of my wet clothes and wrapped me in a huge, fluffy towel. He wandered around the apartment, totally naked, skipping around, so happy; I felt like my heart might explode.
We stepped out onto the terrace. Up here, we’re on the top floor, with no one around; so we stayed there, like that, entangled in each other’s arms, breathing in this moment together. With no lies, no fear of being left behind. Because that’s not going to happen anymore.
“Are you cold?” he asks me now, as we’re on the sun lounger, my head laying against his chest.
“I’m perfect.”
He pulls me into him and places a kiss on my exposed shoulder.
“As much as I love the idea that you have nothing on under that towel, I really think you should go and put something on.”
