Ian
The feeling of her body against mine is enough to make me lose my lucidity, freeing my thoughts and my words.
I slept next to her, held her to me, skin on skin and breathed her in with the only hope that when she woke up, we could start from zero. That we could touch each other, taste each other slowly, one step at a time.
When she looked at me that way, when I could read the resentment in her eyes as clear as day, I felt myself sinking again. I can’t lose her again, not before having truly had her.
“I want you to be mine,” I tell her with fire in my veins and my heart racing a million miles an hour.
Riley leans back, afraid, and I let her. I let my words suffocate her because I know that’s probably what it’s doing.
A year ago, I told her I didn’t want to burden myself with the weight she carries and now I’m ready to bear it for her so she can save herself.
And now I’m ready for all of it.
Riley’s confused. She doesn’t know where to go and she hasn’t faced what’s happened to her yet. She’s not in full control of her life. I’m the one who’s told her what I’m really feeling, what I’ve felt about her since that damn night I wouldn’t dance with her. I shouldn’t feel like this: it’ll only hurt me in the end.
“I can’t reason when you’re in the middle of things. I lose my mind, I lose…Everything, Riley. I always lose when it comes to you. The idea is devouring me…You’re destroying me. Even if I know I can’t stand it, I can’t do without it. And it’s all your fault.”
“My fault?” she stutters, confused.
I lean in threateningly close to her without realizing, and she falls backwards onto the sofa.
“You show up at my house. You ask me to…” I close my eyes and inhale deeply but when I open them the view of her naked shoulders and chest before me make me lose control.
I close the gap between us and take her face in my hands, covering her mouth with mine. She tries to push me away but I’m stronger and more determined.
Her resistance lasts a few seconds, just enough time for me to slip my tongue in her mouth and take her breath away.
Riley doesn’t know what to hold on to, what to do and is completely overwhelmed by me, by my fingers that are running over her, by my mouth that holds her hostage, by my strength and desperation.
This power over her sends the blood rushing to my head.
I pull away from her just enough time to grab her from behind, lift her up and sit her on me.
“Ian…” she pants.
I snake my hands behind her head, grab her hair and pull her to me.
Her breasts crush against my chest, her hands anchored to my shoulders, her lips that brush against mine. I bite her and she moans in my mouth and I try to pull away my towel with the other hand – now the only thing separating us. I grab her hips, throw the towel to the floor and forcefully sit her on top of my pulsing cock.
Riley goes rigid, I feel her tensed muscles in her legs shaking.
I realise I have zero control when she’s in my arms.
So, I stop myself a minute to breathe, to quiet my instincts. I rest my forehead against hers, breathing heavily and keeping a firm grip on her hips. A part of me is afraid that if I let go, she might try to escape, and I couldn’t bear that.
“If this isn’t what you want you have to tell me right now,” I say with a heavy heart, feeling every part of my body shaking with the fear of rejection.
“I…I want…”
“What? What do you want?”
She tries to kiss me but I turn my head.
“Riley, you have to say it or I can’t go on.”
“I want…you to fuck me, Ian. Please, just fuck me and stop talking.”
