“You said that you can’t change people if they don’t want to, right? But I do. Want to. You just don’t believe someone would do that for you.” Disbelief colored his voice, and he cupped my face with both hands, forcing me to meet his eyes.
“For someone so smart and kind and insightful—everything but naïve—how on Earth can you not believe it? How can you not see how wonderful you make everyone’s life around you, how happy you make me?”
“Because it doesn’t make sense.” It came out as a whisper. “Because there are so many women who could give you everything you want without dealing with the baggage. With the pain.” It wasmybaggage.Mypain. My burden that I didn’t dareto put on others. “It doesn’t make sense why anyone would want that.”
“Because I want to hear your thoughts—the ones you share quietly and the ones you keep hidden. I want to hear your voice when you’re brave enough to ask for what you need. I also want to hear you screaming my name loudly in our bedroom when I make you come.” His grin softened, melting into a tender, affectionate smile. “I want to kiss your soft lips when you’re smiling so brightly under the sun, and that frown on your forehead when the weight of the world finds you. I want to be your home.” His eyes locked with mine, searching, as if every word carried a piece of his soul. “I want all the dark corners of your mind and all the brightest colors of your heart.”
What if my heart retreated again? What if I became a burden again? What if all I wanted was to stay the girl who once felt wholeheartedly loved under the Christmas lights?
Tears slid down my face, and I clung to his wrists, seeking an anchor in the storm of doubt. He gently brushed my cheek with his thumb and pressed a soft kiss on my forehead.
“I’m scared, Hazel. I’m scared, too,” he said, reading my thoughts. Because he knew. “That I will fuck this up, that we will end up like my parents. That, at the end, I would do some selfish shit, and you would despise me. I could never live with the fact that you do, and we would end up on this hell loop.” He lowered his head, his gaze diving deeper into mine. “But I’m in love with you and I want to try.”
Deep within my chest, a desperate need for how much I wanted to belong to him clawed its way out of me.
“I love you,” he whispered this time. “I knew it the moment I met you. I’m so sorry for taking so much time. I got stuck.”
So much was in his words, but his eyes... damn. If I’d ever thought I couldn’t read him before, I was wrong.
“I promise you—there is no other world where I wouldn’t come back for you. Where I wouldn’t fight for you.”
I could see it now. The certainty in his eyes, the unguarded vulnerability. The love. I recognized this look from our countless moments together, only now it seemed to be stripped of doubt. It was obvious now that what he was feeling in this moment had always been there, quietly lingering beneath the surface.
His forehead touched mine, and I closed my eyes, drowning in his touch. He leaned in, stopping just an inch from my face, letting me decide whether to allow myself to be loved by him.
“I choose you, Hazel. And I hope you choose me, too.” His breath hit my face, the familiar scent pulling me in. A reminder of late nights and easy conversations.
The world seemed to pause. A moment, fragile and fleeting, and yet the decision was already made. More tears slid down my face as I crushed my lips to his. Pain and fear blurred away, but love stayed. Love wove through me like fresh air filling my lungs, my bloodstream, my whole body. God, why, oh way, it felt so right?
Luke’s hands snuck under my shirt, wrapped around my body, as if I were returning home. He pulled me impossibly close, welding our souls together, and a desperate groan of relief came out of him.
In that moment, something within me shifted. Fractured pieces of myself quietly mending. Some tiny part of my heart would always be changed because of tonight. Because of Luke. Because of his love. Whatever the future held, I knew I would never be the same.
I opened my mouth, letting him in, and he didn’t spare a second, his urgency colliding with mine. My fingers tightened against him, desperate to hold on, as though letting go would undo everything we had just found.
The overwhelming rush of the moment was soon replaced by lust coursing through our whole bodies, our minds finally catching up with what our souls already knew. Our movements became frantic when we stumbled into his bedroom. My hands fumbled against his shirt, tugging with a restless desperation, but he caught them gently, guiding me down instead. Every hurried motion of mine met with his deliberate slowness, savoring each heartbeat between us, taking control with a tenderness that left me breathless.
Even though he took his time, he didn’t make me wait long. I wanted him so much it was breaking me in half. Luke pulled the shirt over my head, but left my hands tangled in it, then pinned them over my head and slowly let his other hand drag down my body. His mouth found my neck, giving me open-mouthed kisses, and I moaned loudly from the sensation and his warm skin on me.
“Ask me anything you want from me, Hazel. It’s yours. My heart, my tongue, my insurance, and my social security number.”
It was so ridiculous I laughed. It didn’t matter anyway, because his insurance company probably wouldn’t accept my ‘needing Luke like I needed air to breathe’ claim as a medical necessity.
“...my soul, my touch,” he continued, dipping lower and licking my nipple. I arched into his mouth. This was heaven. This was everything.
He freed my hands, and my fingers immediately went into his hair, as I grazed his scalp in response to his tongue and teeth doing God’s work.
“Luke,” I moaned out his name. I didn’t know what I wanted him to do. I just wanted him.
“I know, sweetie. I know,” he said in a hushed voice, his palms warm against my flanks. “God, you’re so beautiful.”
It was too much and not enough. His mouth dipped to my stomach as his hands slowly slid my sweatpants down, his touch never leaving my body. Luke’s was always a little warmer than mine, and it felt incredible. The thick fabric slowly glided over my hips, and the intensity of the moment made my eyes shoot to the ceiling. I had my lacy underwear on, but he didn’t take it off. He pulled it aside just enough for his tongue to slightly graze the skin. It was like electricity hitting me. The straps digging into my folds and him disappearing into the blackness of the night intensified every sensation. His lips slowly mapped my inner thigh, traveling upwards until they landed between my legs. The only thing I heard was my own moaning and my pumping heart. Last week’s Hazel would have definitely cared about the volume in which my voice expelled his name. The tips of his fingers played with my opening, and still, he didn’t sink into me deeper.
“Oh, Haze,” he groaned, like he had been starving for weeks. I whimpered and squirmed in his arms, but his hold around my hips was so tight I couldn’t move. It grounded me.
“Here?” The vibrations of his words danced along my labia. I felt possessed, but I couldn’t talk, couldn’t think. My hand went into his hair, and I pulled hard, earning myself another groan from him. “It’s okay. I know.” He sucked and licked and pressed into me, as if he’d been doing it all his life. “I know every inch of you.”
He changed position, rearranging himself higher, and I used the opportunity to take his cock in my hand. He closed his eyes in pleasure as I stroked him a couple of times. His arm grabbed around mine, and he kissed me hard, like our lives depended on it. It felt like it did. I didn’t know if he was following me or I him, but the pace increased.
