After a minute, when I could feel him holding on to the last thread, he slid into me, slowly but mercilessly. My visionspasmed, and I closed my eyes. I couldn’t see anything anyway. So perfectly full.
“I fucking missed you so much,” he whispered in my ear, dragging his arms down my body. My fingernails digging into his back, the pleasure coursing through me.
“I missedyou,” I said, clutching him to me.
Luke was sliding in and out of me with delicious slowness. A small thrust when reaching the end made me gasp every time, wishing it would never end.
I saw it now. How much Luke wanted love, too. He was softer with me now. I felt the traces of it the last time we were together, but now it blazed as brightly as fireworks above my head.
We moved into this ebb and flow with each other.
Dragging kisses. Lingering touches.
Desperate moans disappearing into the thin black night. Who would have thought that begging him to put me out of my misery and wanting him to never stop was actually the same thing? That was the case until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Please,” I begged him, a tear rolling down my cheek. Something I promised I wouldn’t do. But I could with him. I felt safe enough to ask him what I desperately wanted, and he knew that. For the first time, he was ready to want someone who wanted him, too.
He raised his head and gave me the happiest, most sincere smile I’ve seen, and slowly stroked my cheek.
“Please, Luke. I need more.” I was so close. “I needyou.”
His fingers snuck between my thighs, putting pressure on my center. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the mind-altering pleasure.
“Look at me,” he said breathlessly. “Show me how bright you can shine when you’re loved.” I opened my eyes, overwhelmingly happy tears rolling down my cheeks, as he crushed into me with renewed force, and I exploded. Burst. Burned alive in his arms.
A blinding, world-consuming moment of release overtook me, my whole body trembling. Luke held me as tightly as he could, grounding me to him, letting me feel him in every cell of my body.
“Oh God!” I exclaimed, barely holding myself together, squeezing my legs hard around his hips, a heat wave crashing over me. His palm cupped my cheek, his caramel eyes watching me, leading me through the orgasm. I wasn’t embarrassed anymore. I wanted him to see me like this, to see me belong to him. Because I did.
Luke rolled his hips into me, still chasing his pleasure, and my muscles spasmed around the incredible hardness inside me.
“Hazel.MyHazel.” My name slipped out of his mouth in a desperate breath as he held my gaze with so much love in his dark eyes. I would save that ‘my’in the core of my brain so I could repeat it wherever I went.
“Please be mine,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to my collarbone, like he was offering more than a promise. Like he was handing me his whole heart. “And let me be yours.”
Luke disappeared into my neck and snuck into my dreams, forever making me forget I was ever anything but his.
50
Luke
When I was little, I remember going to the zoo, my mom and I. I liked lions the most, but they mostly stayed hidden behind the bushes every time we were there. My mom never had the patience to wait around for them to move, so she’d nudge me along to see some other animals. I’d always feel disappointed.
One time, though, as we were walking away, I glanced back and saw the lions finally wandering around the aviary. I couldn’t resist. I snuck away from my mom to get a closer look. Seeing them up close was thrilling, but when I turned to find her again, she was gone. I was maybe six. It was the most terrified I’d ever felt, not just because I couldn’t find her, but because I knew it was my fault.
That’s how I felt right now. The place where Hazel had slept was still warm and soft, her scent on the pillowcase. I had the opportunity to have everything I had ever wanted, and I let it slip through my fingertips. And it was my own damn fault.
I scared her.
I scared her away.
My hand drifted up to my jaw, fingers brushing the tense line of bone like that might somehow undo what had just happened. I stared at the empty space next to me and closed my eyes for a moment, trying to erase the image of her walking out that door. Quietly, like always. Hazel had this way of leaving that made it feel like she’d never been there at all. No creaking floorboards. No slammed doors. Just a loud absence. It was ironic, really. I used to be the one slipping away. I’d perfected the art of the early morning exit.
I was ready to get up, run barefoot down the street if that’s what it took. Because somewhere along the way, without realizing it, I’d built my entire future with her in it, and I couldn’t imagine it without her now. Not anymore. Traces of her could be found in every part of my life. Even my friends loved her more than me. There was no denying that.
And that’s when I saw it—a small, white piece of paper on the nightstand. Folded once, nothing fancy.
Give me some time. Please.
