Luke. His apartment. The steady presence of him right there by my side.
I opened my eyes, blinking away the haze of sleep, unsure why my body had chosen this moment to wake up. Turning my head, I found my answer.
Luke’s warm, dark brown eyes were locked on mine, his head slightly raised as he leaned on one elbow. His other hand hovered in the air, gently brushing aside a strand of hair that had fallen across my face. There was something unreadable in his expression, a quiet intensity, as though he was contemplating something only he understood.
I smiled instantly. “Creep much?” I whispered, but his face didn’t budge. I felt his seriousness slowly trailing up my spine.
He opened his mouth, but there was deafening silence. And then... “Hazel, I’m in love with you!”
My heart stuttered, my eyes widening in shock. For a moment, the words hung in the air, too heavy to fully grasp. Then, like a floodgate bursting, came all the ugly emotions—pain, hurt, anger, and confusion—the ones I usually carefully untangled and rationally explained.
“What?” I sat up, putting space between us, trying to gather some coherent thought in my head. “Why... why are you doing this? Why are you lying to me?” I got up, looking frantically around me, not even sure what I was trying to do.
“Wha—? I’m not,” Luke’s voice wavered as he snapped to attention, standing quickly, his face clouded with confusion and concern.
“Is this your fucked up way to sleep with me again?” I asked, my voice shaking as I crossed my arms tightly over my chest as if trying to protect myself.
“No, NO!” I saw panic in his eyes, but it was nothing close to mine right now.
“Why are you saying this to me? I can’t deal with this right now.” My breathing became erratic as I was searching for my clothes. I think I was having a panic attack. I don’t think I could stay with him here after this... this bombshell.
“Because you need to hear it.” His tone, suddenly firmer, made me stop and look into his eyes, utterly terrified of what I would find there. I was completely sure my face couldn’t hide anything. It was all there for him to see—pain, hurt, anger, confusion.
“Okay, here it goes.” He pushed out a breath like one would before a fight. A fight for us. “I love you. I’m sorry to tell you this now, but it’s the truth. And I can’t hold it in anymore.” His eyes held an unwavering determination.
“I made a choice a long time ago to create my own family. With the kind of people who would stand by me and share my happiness, something I never had growing up. And I thought I’d done it, but... somehow I didn’t realize my parents still lived in my head, making decisions for me, shaping my choices.” The weight of his regret etched across his face.
“You, Hazel... You accepted me when everyone else tried to change me, even my chosen family. Every single one of themcares for me. I know they love me, but their endless attempts to match me with someone always stung a little. Like I was incomplete if I wasn’t with someone. Now I see that it was the cause of my decision, not the decision itself.” He came closer, but this time I was hypnotized. I couldn’t run away.
“You never asked me to change for you or for anyone unless I wanted to do it. And that was what finally made me realize I don’t want to be this version of myself anymore. I want to be better. For youandfor me.”
He took my arms in his, and I trembled, tears pricking my eyes. I never wanted him to change. I wanted him to be happy, even if it was on his own, but now... he was standing here telling me hewantedto be happy. But with me. Why was it so hard to believe?
“My parents. Their marriage had been a terrible experience for them, but I refuse to let it define what love means for me. I refuse to believe that pain is the default.”
Something else flickered in his eyes. I lowered my gaze, unprepared for all of this in the middle of the night. Maybe it was like a very realistic dream, and I would wake up at any moment.
“I...” He hesitated. “I’ve loved before, Hazel.” My head snapped back up at his words, catching me off guard.
He didn’t believe in love. That’s what he said, over and over.
“...but I never stayed. I always ran, every time it got real.” He exhaled sharply, like he was releasing years of fear in that single breath. “But not anymore.”
He stepped closer. I could see the weight of every word on his face, the war he’d fought inside himself. “Because you’re bigger than my fears.” He reached for my hand, holding it like it grounded him. “Because you deserve to be chosen. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. By someone who truly wants you. Who loves you. And I do, sweetie. I love you. So much.”
His words were like a raw hit to my heart. Ripping apart every scar, every insecurity. A tear dripped down, and Luke caught it, his palm on my wet cheek.
I’d be his if he asked.
“It doesn’t matter.” I wiped my cheek, unable to look him in the eyes anymore. “We’re too different. You know who you are. Eventually, you’ll get bored with me.”
The confession felt like a dagger in my chest. His grip on me tightened, and I could feel the quiet urgency in his touch as if trying to stop me from building walls around my heart.
“Hazel, are you kidding me?!” he laughed out. “You’re one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met in my life. You’re smart and you’re kind. You jump cliffs and read books. You smoke weed and play piano. You’re outrageously funny, hard-working... andbrave.
“You take care of people around you.” Luke closed in on me, and I felt his warmth spreading inside my body. “And you take care of sad fruit.” He smiled softly as I wiped away the tears.
“You’re soft in the best possible way,” he whispered, brushing his nose against my cheek. I let out a quiet breath, shaking my head.
