"I should have asked for help," he pouts. "How did I measure wrong?"
Glancing around I notice he has a wall of mirrors up with a small portion of the wall showing. Is that what he's upset about?
I watch his back lift with a sigh and decide it's time I stop lurking. "Looks good in here."
"AHHH!" Face wild with terror, Ellis flings around and puts his fists up to defend himself. "Fucking hell on a ball sack, Violet! What the shit are you doing?"
Biting my lip to keep my laughter in check, I cock my hip and fold my arms. "I was told I could come over whenever I want."
"Obviously, but what the fuck?" Groaning, he rubs his hands down his face. His tight black shirt clings to him, showing off his lean muscles, making me want to inch forward. I keep my feet planted even though his grey sweatpants test me.
Giggling, I move away from him to check out the changes he's made. "You're building a gym," I comment, eyeing the fancy treadmill on the other side of the room.
"Yeah," he confirms and clears his throat. As if realizing what a mess it is in here, he starts gathering all the plastic and garbage lingering around. "I needed a space to decompress. The ice that layers the streets half the year has forced my hand."
"Running helps?" I ask softly, wanting, no, needing to get a better idea of his plan to be better.
Nodding, Ellis glances at me and the machine. "Yeah. It does. When the emotions start to become too much, it feels like anitch under my skin. Like something needs to come out before I explode. Which explains the rambling and finicky filter for my words. Nate and even Jamie have been able to pinpoint when I start to tense, which is a good signal for needing to run off some excess energy."
I'm silent for a moment, taking in his explanation. "I appreciate you sharing," I say honestly. My response is similar to what I whispered to him after he told me about his tattoo. He doesn't need to be vulnerable, but he's choosing to be.I hope you'll continue sharing your journey with us, I told him the other night.
To fill the silence, I offer Ellis a part of myself too. "I'm seeing my therapist again. Too much has happened, and I need some help working through it, even if I am feeling stronger and more capable of wrangling all my thoughts."
Ellis smiles warmly at me. "That's good, Violet.Reallygood. Are you happy?"
Another moment of strong vulnerability from Ellis. What he's really asking is if I'm happy without them. Without being in a relationship.
I hum a noncommittal sound and inch back toward the stairs. "I'm working on it. There are some things I'm figuring out."
"Is that why you're here? To figure things out?"
Pausing, I turn and look him in the eye so he can see my feelings. He's much closer than I thought he was, having followed me to the staircase. "Is that okay with you? I'm not here to play games or mess with your feelings. I'm really just trying to figure things out."
"Yes, Violet. That's why we gave you access to our home. You need to see all of us, even sweaty, defeated me when I stupidly decide to do some projects on my own. This is me, and I'll just keep doing my best to let you see all of me."
Smiling, I reach out and grab his hand. "Thank you."
"Shit, V..." He sighs and shakes his head, looking pained. "Don't thank me for that. I hurt you and I'm so fucking sorry. I hate that it was a wake-up call for me. Your happiness should never be the cost for someone else'soh shitmoment."
"You're right." He is. I was hurt in the process of him realizing he had some serious work to do on himself. I don't like it, but sometimes I don't like life either. This is a really tough case oflifekicking us all in the gut while we're down.
His attention shifts to my lips as I take notice of his messy dark hair and strong jawline. He really is very pretty, but that's not a cure all.
I'm not only interested in him for his looks. That's a bonus. I'm interested in him because of the connection between us. The one currently pulling us together and tangling our fingers tighter.
"Violet," he pleads and closes the distance. His lips meet mine in the most gentle caress I have ever experienced. It sends tingles down my arms and spine. I can't help but gasp and deepen the kiss for just a moment.
This is nothing but it's everything at the same time. It shows me that somethinggood,something that feels comforting can build from pain.
His bottom lip is trapped between mine just as he has my upper lip in his hold too. There's no tongue, just a sweet connection that makes me want to dive in for an all-consuming hug.
He pulls away, and I don't chase. Instead, he rests his forehead against mine and exhales shakily. "Kissing you is a privilege I don't deserve but I'm still me. Still selfish enough to greedily take whatever you’re willing to give me. I'm in love with you so deeply I'll settle for the smallest parts of you."
My hands reach up and grasp his cheeks. The tiny amount of stubble helps to calm my nerves as I hold him gently. "I know," I breathe. "I know."
Shaking himself, Ellis inhales and presses a firm kiss to my forehead before pulling my hands down. "Alright, Bubbles. Want to scare the shit out of Nate now?"
"Hell yeah," I agree with a tiny grin that melts some of my pieces back together.
