“No, but marriage is a promise. Like a…a bet. You promise to be fair to each other. To talk to each other, to reach your goals together. To accept the other person as they are. Perfect or imperfect. Regardless of whether you sometimes doubt them or not. And I think I need that promise. Especially with a man like you, who is a master at doubting eternal, unconditional love! Who claims that true love is a question ofwhen, notwho. Connor, I honestly don’t know how I could have fallen in love with you…but it happened. And I want to get married, Connor. I want to have children. I want to find the love of my life who will support me with all my imperfections — not the hot man who thinks my job is a joke.”
Connor was grinding his teeth, and his gaze flickered between her eyes and her trembling lips. “I don’t think your job is a joke.”
“Yes! You think Match Me! is ridiculous.”
He swallowed. She saw his Adam’s apple rise and fall, how he rubbed the back of his neck. She knew he would answer honestly because he was always honest. It was one of the things she loved about him.
“You’re not Match Me!, Rachel,” he replied slowly. “You’re a couples' therapist. And I believe therapy is important.”
“Even couples' therapy?”
“Sometimes.” He looked away. “I guess it depends. It helps some couples, but it might give other couples false hope.”
“Hope can never be false, Connor,” she whispered.
He sighed. “Yeah, yeah, okay. I’ll let that slide. Good couples' therapy is a wonderful thing, you’re right. I am certain analysis can help many people. As for Match Me! and your questionnaire…” He took a deep breath before looking back at her face. “I’m sorry, Rachel. But what I’ve seen so far of your questionnaire and algorithm is that it only matched you with complete idiots...”
“But that was my fault! I filled it out wrong.”
“That may be, but…when you filled it out correctly, you were matched with my damn brother!”
She nodded. “Maybe Alec and I would be compatible.”
Connor frowned and crossed his arms. “So that’s what you think, huh?” he asked sharply.
“If it weren’t for you, Connor, I might have gone out with him. Yes,” she said, trying to sound gentle and patient. Nevertheless, she realized how bitter she sounded, how disappointment was settling in her chest. He hadn’t said anything about marriage yet, or if he was serious.
“Anyway,” Connor said harshly, glaring at her challengingly. “I'm here now, but that’s irrelevant, right?”
“Yes, but that’s not how you can determine if Match Me! works.”
He snorted. “Rachel, you can’t promise that people will stay together forever.”
“No, that might be going too far, but we definitely offer a slightly better chance.”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “Are you going to tell me why we’re having this conversation? I don’t believe in matchmaking, just like I don’t believe in a promise that a couple will stay together forever when so much can change from one day to the next, which neither the couple nor a damn agency has any control over. Any relationship can fall apart at any time!”
She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes. “Yes. That’s exactly the point. Connor, my life…” She swallowed hard but continued speaking. “My life is such a mess, but with you in it, it’s calmer, more orderly. I just don’t know if it will always be this way. Shit, it’s even likely that itwon’tbe, that it will become imperfect. So, I need to know if we’re on the same page. If you want what I want before I get badly hurt, understand?” She looked at him for help, but he still seemed to be fifty paragraphsbehind. “I…I just want to know. To start over. I have the damn court date at the end of next week, where it will be decided whether or not I can keep my license. Then I’ll have clarity. And I’ve realized that…I need clarity with everything. So...what do you want?”
“I want you, Rachel,” he said quietly. He wasn’t thinking about it, but there was still hesitation in his eyes. “I’m…I’m pretty in love with you, okay? Can’t that be enough?”
Her lips trembled, and she lowered her gaze. Her heart filled with his words, but it wasn’t full yet. “I don’t know. I…” She swallowed. He might tell her now that he was in love with her, but would he fight for her and always support her even if he realized she wasn’t perfect, even for him? “It is enough fornow, Connor. But…I don’t think it’s enough for eternity.”
“Why not?” he whispered, his voice sounding urgent as he gently cupped her face. “Do you know how many women I’ve told that I was in love with them? Onlyyou.”
“Well, I wanted to hear it, Connor,” she said. “But I want more. I want to know what your plan is.”
“Why…why isn’t love enough?”
“As a divorce lawyer, shouldn’t you know that?” she whispered, suddenly exhausted.
He dropped his hands. His chest heaved, and Rachel hated that she was to blame. That he looked so confused and hurt. But she had to ask these questions. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life afraid of suddenly not being enough.
“Can I at least get some time?” he asked nervously. “You come here and give me an ultimatum out of nowhere…”
“I’m not giving you an ultimatum. I’ve realized we want different things. Connor, I don’t regret the time I spent with you. I’ve had so much fun with you, but…I want kids and marriage. Do you? You still haven’t said anything about that.”
He opened his mouth. “I don’t have anything against children. To be honest, I’ve never really thought about it. But marriage…why should we get married? We haven’t known each other long and…”
