‘I am sure it is a little overwhelming for you, but you must take these opportunities to improve yourself, as they come along so rarely,’ Emma said with a sweet smile that was less friendly than the one on Martha’s tiger, Thea suspected. ‘I wonder if you have thought of visiting some of the other shows in London? To view how other, more popular entertainers present science to the people?’
Thea saw Doctor Travers swallow, evidently not enjoying the attention. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I do have some experience of–’
‘Clearly not as much as you might think,’ said Emma, waving away his explanation. ‘A number of us here have seen shows in London which are enjoyable.’ She turned to the seat next to her. ‘Winne, who is that man with the cats?’
‘Katterfelto,’ said Winnie through a mouthful of veal.
‘That’s right,’ said Emma, pointing her fork at Doctor Travers. ‘The wonders man with the evil cat who claims he’s better than Newton.’
‘I’m sure he’s not better than Newton,’ tried Thea.
Doctor Travers looked thrilled at the support. ‘Sir Isaac Newton was one of the greatest philosophers of any age,’ he agreed, but Emma once again waved him away.
‘Whether Katterfelto is or not is entirely academic,’ she said. ‘The point is that he claims to be, and his shows are quite entertaining because of it. In fact, it almost made me believe I could quite enjoy science before the Duchess of Hartford came in and started talking about rocks,’ she laughed at herself, and looked at Thea as she did so. It was presented to the table as a polite tease, but there was a barb in it that made Thea’s chestconstrict with shame. Some of the table laughed along with her, pretending to gently mock Thea in the politest way they could, but she knew that they meant it. Harriet and Speckle kept their heads pointed to their plates. Cecily glanced between Emma and Doctor Travers, and Martha looked daggers at Emma.
‘Him and the man with the counting pig, I am sure you could learn something Doctor Travers,’ finished Emma, entirely oblivious. ‘You should visit on your return to London.’ It was a direction, in the manner of an entitled society lady who thinks she can say anything to anyone she feels is beneath her, either in rank or in popularity.
Thea noted this as the point her tether ran out.
‘You shouldn’t listen to Mrs Fairclough,’ said Thea, looking directly at Doctor Travers. ‘I found your talk extremely diverting.’
Emma let out a pretty little laugh. ‘I bet you did.’ It was snide, and Thea hated it.
‘I did,’ she said, ‘because I appreciate the thermal properties of various materials and I have learned a significant amount tonight about how I may apply that to my everyday life.’
‘Just what everyone requires of an evening’s entertainment,’ chipped in Helena Mortimer in that sarcastic tone she had. ‘When I have a need of setting my cushions alight or reach a point in my life that I require my wine to be warmed, I am sure I shall reflect on the lecture fondly.’ She and Emma shared a knowing glance.
Thea looked at Doctor Travers, who was staring at his plate, immobile as he looked like he wished he could spontaneously combust just to be out of this situation. Thea stood, desperate for both him and for herself.
‘You can be snide to me,’ she said, rolling up her napkin and throwing it onto the table. ‘But you should apologise to Doctor Travers as he has come a long way, and I am sure is extremelyexperienced.’ She looked him directly in the eye. ‘Your work is very valuable, Doctor, and if you wish to exit what I am sure, by now, is a terribly awkward situation for you, I would welcome a further conversation about thermal mass. Otherwise, if you will all excuse me, I will be outside taking some air.’
And with that, she stalked out of the room.
Chapter 25
Bristling, Thea exited the conservatory doors and stalked into the gardens. She should have stayed, exiting a dinner early was not done, but she couldn’t bear the superiority of both ladies and men any longer. She hadn’t meant to say anything. This would definitely not be what George would consider ‘behaving herself’. She could simply have allowed Emma to preach to Doctor Travers about his desperately dull lecture, but somehow, she hadn’t been able to. She was tired of the condescension and the constant superiority. The relentless ascent to the pinnacle of society, never mind who you dragged yourself over to get there. They could put down Doctor Travers as he did not have the money or rank. They could put down Thea even though she had those things, because she didn’t have a gregarious nature or the will to conform. She could drown in it, or she could fight.
But now George would be even more furious, she thought with a sigh as she trudged across the scythed lawn. His pre-marriage commitment that he was happy to have an interesting wife with interesting ideas had clearly gone up in flames.
Her time at Hawkdean and Milford had been a welcome relief from this disdainful society, but she still didn’t feel like she belonged anywhere. Not in London society, not at her marital home, and it seemed that her own family were getting on very well without her. Martha was her security, but now hearing the details of what she and Crumpacker had been through together, she felt like she wasn’t enough for anyone. That hurt more than the rest. She felt so small and insignificant in the face of Martha’s exploration and achievements and Harriet’s brilliantly social nature that she simply had to leave. Ultimately, she felt like a boring outsider in a society she was forced to participate in.
She kicked a rock that turned out to be sheep poo, presumably from the errant sheep flock, and stood for a minute, staring at the sky and gritting her teeth. When her heat rate settled a little, she used the dwindling light to find the ha-ha, sitting down and dangling her feet over the edge. In no hurry to return, she watched the sun drop and meet the horizon.
‘I thought you might be enjoying the air,’ said Martha’s voice behind her.
Thea didn’t turn. ‘I’m just sitting and lamenting the loss of any respect I enjoyed from polite society,’ she said. ‘Granted the lecture was indescribably dull, but they are so superior. How dare they?’ She felt Martha pause behind her and turned. Martha stood a few feet away, right next to Dr Travers. ‘Oh, hello,’ said Thea.
‘I thought I might see that you were alright,’ said Martha. ‘And Doctor Travers thought he would take you up on your offer of a sensible escape from the jaws of society dinners. I thought he might find an encouraging voice in you.’ Martha looked at Thea pointedly.
‘Of course,’ said Thea, her mind racing as she wondered how to rescue the situation. ‘Good idea. Good evening. Again. DrTravers. I did enjoy your lecture, as I said inside, and would be happy to discuss thermal mass further, of course.’ Dr Travers nodded at her and fiddled with the cane in his hands.
Thea was sure she saw Martha roll her eyes to the heavens before she gave him a little shove towards Thea. ‘Why don’t you sit down, Dr Travers? I should return to the party so we aren’t all missed but I am sure you two will have plenty to discuss.’ Dr Travers took the cue and sat down about four yards from Thea on the edge of the ha-ha. Thea heard Martha’s footsteps recede. She wondered what to say. How could she get over admitting in front of him that she found the lecture dull? Just as she was trying to combine a form of words, he spoke up.
‘I should thank you, Your Grace, for speaking up for me inside. It was very much appreciated.’
‘That is my pleasure,’ said Thea, withering a little inside at his politeness. ‘Good science must be defended.’
There was a pause. ‘Even if it is indescribably dull?’ Her heart thudded at his overt acknowledgement, but as she turned to him to apologise, she saw a shy smile on his face. ‘I know it was,’ he said. ‘I know what people like, and it is not that.’ He was a gentle man, she thought. There was nothing brusque about him and he had a light tone to his voice. She felt comfortable with him out here at the edge of the parkland.
