Kam raised an eyebrow. “That’s a lie.”
I laughed again, louder this time. “Alright, damn.”
He grinned. “You love Princess Love Tate, always have. Only thing changed is now you old enough to be scared of it.”
I sighed and rubbed my face. “I’m just tryna make sure I don’t fuck it up.”
“Good. That means you care. And you wanna hear something else?”
He paused for a moment, but I didn’t answer him. I just stared back and waited, knowing he was going to speak whatever was on his heart regardless.
“You ain’t your real father. You ain’t your stepdad. You already proved that by showing up. I just been waiting for you to stop acting like work is the only thing you know how to commit to.”
He grabbed the folder, and with a smug grin, he turned and left the kitchen, leaving the half-drank bottle of water behind. “Go get your family right, Zay!” he shouted from the hallway. “I got everything else!”
I remained in place and listened as the door opened.
“Nigga, quit coming over here wasting all my water!” I shouted back playfully.
“You rich, motherfucker! Buy some more!” He slammed the door behind him.
Still smiling, I sat there a few moments longer and took in all Kam’s words. For the first time in a long time, the fear didn’t feel like it chased me.
It felt like it was daring me to finally stop running.
3
Iwas parked at LAX, sunk low in the back seat of a tinted three-row SUV. Others waited patiently on the sides for their rides to pull up. Most stood near the barriers with their phones up, watching every car that rolled past too slowly. My driver stayed inside with the engine running, eyes forward. We’d done this dance enough times to know better than to draw attention.
My little sister, Kennedy, was in my ear, voice light and chipper, carrying on about her wedding. I was happy that she was able to find love and start a life of her own, considering the circumstances of how our lives turned upside down when our mother passed. I was proud that she was able to move forward with her life and not let her father stop her from believing in love and forevers. I wished I could have gotten that.
“And the wedding planner driving me up the fuckin’ wall too!” Her voice erupted through my headphones. “She keep making changes to things and setting up shit like it’s her wedding! Like, girl, are you walking down that aisle or me?”
I laughed. “Ken, you crazy!”
“No,thatbitch is looney. Foreal!” She laughed and then exhaled dramatically before she began again. “Speaking of walking down the aisle . . .”
“Ken, don’t start. I don’t wanna hear no ‘Princess and me sitting in a tree’ jokes today.” I believed I knew where her conversation was heading and decided to beat her to the punch, but the shift in her tone when she spoke again told me otherwise.
“Boy, what?Princess and me sittin’ in a tree? That ain’t even how the song go, fool! I wanted to ask you something serious.”
I sat up straighter in my seat, eyes still focused on the world outside of the car window, but ears fully open. Kennedy hardly ever asked me for anything, not even money for her wedding. If I hadn’t offered to at least pay for the reception, she would have handled it herself. My sister was a true rider and loved me for me, not for what I could provide her with. I loved that about her.
“Oh,” I replied, embarrassed. “What you need then? Let me know, Sis.”
There was a long pause on the phone, and for a moment, I thought the call had disconnected.
“Hello?” I asked. It was always hard to keep a signal out in LAX.
“I’m still here. I just . . .”
I sensed her hesitation and disconnected my headphones. Somehow, holding the phone to my ear instead helped me brace myself for whatever it was she had to say next.
“Ken, talk to me. What’s up, baby girl?”
“I wanted to ask you if . . .” She paused. I heard muffling through the speaker as if she was shifting herself or moving around. “If you could be the one to walk me down. You know, give me away.”
Suddenly, everything I felt about my little sister getting married and beginning a new life with her family became very real to me. Kennedy was the only other person besides Princess that I could trust and knew accepted me for who I was. She was always there for me when we were kids and did the best she could, even at her young age, to help me believe that there wasreal love in the cold streets of Detroit. Then, she grew up, was getting married, and wanted to share that special moment with me. Even with all my success and fame, I still felt that I didn’t measure up to such an honor.
