“You really think if I go and talk to him, I can stop this horrible feeling in my chest?” I ask.
Lexi leans forward and grabs my wineglass, pushing it back into my hand. “There’s only one way tofind out.”
I groan. “No.”
Drew sighs and hugs me as I finish the glass of wine. “I’m afraid so. But trust the process. It worked for me and Lex.”
I pull away from him and stare. “You two are engaged!”
“Trust the process,” he repeats.
Lexi fills my glass with what’s left in the bottle. “We would never steer you wrong.”
“That’s exactly what someone who’d steer me wrong would say,” I mutter, but the more I drink, the more I realize their idea has some merit.
I mean, really, what’s the worst that can happen?
CHAPTER EIGHT
ROME
A couple daysbefore my flight, my aunt Hélène comes through on a short-term lease I’m able to occupy right away. A college professor is on sabbatical for the semester and needs to rent out her place. It works perfectly for me, and I shoot the address over to Quinn who volunteers to stock the place with food so I don’t have to deal with a shop while jet lagged.
I’m so ready to be home, and the feeling is worse the moment I see my dad smiling at me through the window of my car.
He steps out and hugs me, and my entire body goes lax in his arms. For a moment—just a breath—I’m a kid again. I have no worries, no stress, no heartbreak. Then he pulls back and frowns in concern.
‘Jet lag?’
I nod my fist. It’s easier to lie than to tell him the truth. That I’m back in the small town that almost ruined me.
He doesn’t ask, and I’m grateful for it. After such a long flight, I just want to get to my place so I can showerand have a drink. Preferably at the same time. I really need the time to think about what the hell I’m going to do now that I’m home after three fucking years away and failing to solve my Dex problem.
‘I can’t stay,’ he tells me as we round the corner and head toward the rental. ‘I have a meeting with the Paris office, and then I have to get ready for my flight. Will you be okay by yourself tonight?’
I nod. In all honesty, that sounds like the best way to deal with all this anxiety. ‘Don’t worry about me. I’m going to sleep for five days.’
He laughs and pats me on the shoulder before taking the final turn, and that’s when I see them in front of the condo building. Everyone I’ve run away from. Everyone I’ve missed so desperately.
Well. Almost everyone.
Robbie and Thom are there smiling. Quinn’s leaning against Thom’s car with a shit-eating grin, and Theo’s signing animatedly to Denver, who looks as exhausted as I feel. But he always looks exhausted.
My brows meet as my dad rolls to a stop, and I feel my heart thud in my chest, my eyes swiveling around the parking lot. Because there’s no Dex.
He’s not here. I don’t know why I expected him to be since we haven’t spoken and since I unfollowed him two years ago, but something about it hurts worse now that I know.
I let out a long breath and then force my lips to turn up at the corners as I climb out of the car and let everyone welcome me back into their fold.
I need to be happy to see them. Hell, Iamhappy to see them.
I’m just tired, and I know I’m going to have a long night ofchat chat that I’m not in the mood for. After a short forever of hellos that are almost as long as a Deaf goodbye, I make my way to the door and punch in the code, letting everyone in along with me. I drop my suitcase as Quinn takes my arm and drags me to where they’ve clearly set up a temporary bar, and that’s when my forced smile becomes more natural, effortless.
My hands move as I respond to all the questions.
In ASL.
No more LSF.
