I hope I get to thread my fingers through his floppy curls for a very long time to come. I hope I get to watch him work away on his laptop, tongue poked out, hyper focused on whatever paper he’s working on. I hope when we’re fifty we’re still going to watch our favourite country artists together. My heart truly hopes we’ll be doing beachside runs until our knees can’t take it anymore. There’s so much hope, but at the same time I can see it. Like, truly imagine the grey strands in his hair as he listens to me complaining about my joints. I can’t wait for all the memories we’ll make together.
‘Love you,’ he whispers against my lips. ‘Love you so much.’
The feeling is so deeply mutual I can’t even cope. I don’t want to get into comparing moments like this to moments in my relationship with Jackson– but that taught me enough to know that this is beautiful, special and so very real.
This love is unlike anything else.
We pull away from each other and I’m quick to open up the duvet to him so he can slide into bed with me. There’s no way in the world I’m letting him go anywhere tonight. He’s mine. We snuggle down, despite the hungry feeling in my stomach and the itch to be at the hospital with the guys. We can always order room service at some point tonight, and really, who’s going to stop me if I want to sneak into the hospital in the middle of the night to keep my friends company while they heal.
‘Two races to go, how are you feeling?’
I roll onto my side to face him and sigh. I’m still in second place, nine points behind Harper and it all feels like a lot of pressure. It’s very overwhelming. Very much like I could throw it all away if I’m not careful and focused. Handing Harper a second world-championship win is not on the agenda. I’ve finished third the last two years. I don’t want that again.
‘Like we have a lot of work to do. I don’t for a second want any of us to underestimate what a battered and bruised Harper James is capable of. I remember he broke his thumb when we were fifteen and he still competed that weekend. He won’t be stopped. This will only make him more determined.’
‘I know you have this in you. You’ve worked so hard to come back from everything after the summer break and to still be within touching distance even after having to sit out a whole race, you’ve done so well.’
It’s awful to think that I’ve been lucky that my best friend had a big crash which left him gaining no points and that’s helped me catch up. Sadly, that’s just the way this sport works. It’s kind of fucked up.
‘So, what now?’
‘We have to do this right,’ Caleb says. ‘No more sneaking around, no more secrets. We have to go to Nathan and declare our relationship.’
Does he not realise that’s all I ever wanted?
‘Absolutely. I agree. I have nothing to hide.’
‘Good, me either. I’ll get the meeting all set up and we’ll just go in there and be honest. No lies. We’ll tell him we’re together and it’s new but we’re serious and want to give this a go.’
‘Oooh, he’s serious about me,’ I tease and Caleb doesn’t stand for it for a second, his fingers tickling the sides of my ribs so that I squirm against him.
‘You’re a brat sometimes, you know?’ He uses his current advantageous position to pull me close and I’m not complaining at all, despite the tickle attack.
‘I know, but you still want to be serious with me. So what does that say about you?’
‘That I must be deranged, but here I am.’ He presses a kiss to my forehead and just to disturb a perfectly nice moment, my stomach decides to grumble. We order room service– steaks, of course– and when we’re full and happy we take a shower. Together.
We exchange wet, sloppy hand jobs, but it’s the way he washes me down that truly makes me happy. The way his hands, covered in the most luxurious scented lather, move over me so softly, a million ounces of care in them. He’s tender, even when he gives my hard nipples a cheeky flick. I wish I had hair for him to wash, because I can only imagine how loving that would feel.
He presses soft kisses to the back of my neck and I swoon against his touch, the steam and water cascading around us. This is all I want. He is all I want.
I don’t deserve this man, but I hope I can hold on to him forever.
ChapterThirty-Four
Caleb
We get through Shanghai– the team a mess, with Nils being out and trying to get Anton somewhat ready to drive in the final two races. Johannes finishes top of the podium, putting him just two points behind Harper.
I put in a call to our company’s employee rep to ask if he can be available for a meeting with Nathan and some of the other higher-ups, as well as someone from HR. I’d like to get it sorted before we head to Abu Dhabi so Johannes can focus on his race and nothing else.
He can celebrate, hopefully as the new world champion, then we can get on a plane out of there where he’ll post a picture of us together so the world can know we’re together.
Nathan pencils us in for 6 a.m., which surely has to be a joke, but I know it’s about to be stupid busy today as we go into the final race week. I’m lucky to get everyone I need in the room at one time, including my very sleepy boyfriend.
* * *
‘What’s this all about?’ Nathan asks as he sits at the head of the conference table.
