‘Don’t you shush me, Caleb Hughes!’
‘Ma, please. I promise I’ll call soon and tell you all about it, okay?’
‘No need. Just bring him home to meet us! When the season’s over, you get your butt back on a flight to Tennessee, ASAP.’
‘Yes, Ma,’ I say. Now is not the time to discuss the very complicated nature of our current status, so I just agree.
‘One last thing, Caleb.’
‘What, Ma?’
‘I love you, son. You’re a good boy and I hope he makes you very happy. It’s been a pleasure being your mom and raising you.’ I have to knead at my eyes with my fists to stop myself getting emotional.
‘Love you too, Ma. I’ll call you when I can.’
We end the call and I have to take a couple of breaths to steady myself. I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation today. I wasn’t planning on saying any of that stuff to Johannes, but he needed me and I’d do anything for him.
‘Everyone okay at home?’ Johannes asks when I step back into the room and take up the seat next to him.
‘All good. They’ve heard the clip, of course, and my mom… well, we’ll talk about it later, okay?’ Johannes nods, before turning back to Nils who starts chatting our ears off about one of the hot nurses and how he’s going to charm her number out of her. He’s incorrigible.
ChapterThirty-Three
Johannes
In the backseat of the car that Caleb’s arranged to return us to the hotel, we’re both quiet. There’s hardly any space between us and I itch to reach for him.
He must be thinking the same thing, because he shuffles over a little and covers my hand with his, locking our fingers together. It’s a small peace offering but it’s precious.
The elevator ride is silent, neither of us even bothering to check for any of our colleagues in the corridor as I slide my key card into the door of my room and let him in.
The door is hardly shut when he pulls me into the tightest hug, my hands fisting in the back of his team jumper and clutching him like a lifeline. I couldn’t be more grateful for this man right now, for the way he’s given me everything I need today despite us being in a not-so-great place. He’s stood by and supported me when he didn’t have to, when I wouldn’t have blamed him for abandoning me.
There are so many reasons that I love him, but his compassion and the way he supports me are some of the biggest.
‘I know I owe you an explanation, but it’s been quite a fucking day. When you said the crash was between Nils and Harper, I just about lost it. I didn’t see it, but I heard it and it sounded so bad.’ I finally pull away from where we’ve been clutching at each other and gesture to the bed for us to sit down. He discards his jumper and I take off my jacket before we shuffle up to the top of the bed to get comfy. I need to be if I have to tell this story again.
‘Take your time, Jo, but don’t leave anything out, because we can’t move forward in this relationship with any secrets between us. You kept something huge from me.’
‘I did and I’m sorry, but until that night at the restaurant, I’d never told a single soul.’
I launch into the story from the very beginning and spare no details. Caleb listens patiently and doesn’t interrupt.
When I get to the end, he says, ‘Christ, Johannes! I can’t even imagine what that was like. I’m sorry you went through all that alone.’
He pulls me into his arms and I’ve never felt safer. He places soft kisses on my head, but I don’t cry like I fear I might.
‘He broke me but, Caleb, you put me back together. You and your beautiful cups of coffee and mind-clearing runs. You give so generously of yourself and ask for nothing in return, and that makes me want to give you everything. You are more than the voice in my ear. Little by little, you’ve come to mean everything to me. I hope you know that.’
Caleb nudges me gently.
‘You put yourself back together, Jo. I just walked beside you while you did it.’
‘You have no idea how much I love you, Caleb Huges,’ I say, and it’s such a relief to get it out there.
‘You dick! I wanted to say it first,’ he says, pinching my side, but then his lips meet mine and he’s crawling into my lap like he belongs there. And he does. I can’t imagine him being anywhere else now.
His arms ring around my neck and we slot together so perfectly that I don’t ever want to let go. His tongue strokes over my bottom lip and I’m quick to let him in, the pacing soft and gentle like we have all the time in the world– and I really hope we do.
