‘Caleb and I wanted to make it official that we are together. Happy to sign any HR forms needed, as we want it to be all above board and in the open.’
I wasn’t expecting him to take the lead on this, but it probably is best that it’s coming from him. I’ve played all the potential scenarios they could take from this. My position of power, Johannes’s position of power as star driver, the fact that I’m older than him, coercion etc… I don’t want to give them any of that ammunition.
Nathan looks between me and Johannes, then to the CEO of the team. I can’t quite read the CEO. It’s almost like he doesn’t believe us but at the same time is about to pop a lid at us for doing this to him now.
‘Fantastic. Just what we need the week before the biggest race of this team’s life.’ Nathan drops his head into his hands like he’s ready to thump the table and I’m left wishing we’d maybe left this till next week, after the race.
‘We aren’t planning to announce it till after the season is over. We obviously don’t want to make it official while we’re still in Abu Dhabi,’ I throw in, hoping it’ll stop him completely overreacting.
‘I just… Are you serious?’ We both nod at Nathan, and Johannes reaches for my hand where it’s resting on the table. ‘And I thought it was bad when we were sitting on the story about you and Jackson Calder.’
‘You were what?’ Johannes asks. ‘You knew?’ Jo’s hand tenses in mine and I’m glad this wasn’t how I found out, because this would be shitty timing.
‘The PR team informed me that someone had sent in an anonymous picture of you two about eighteen months ago. We squashed it but kept tabs on you both in case it blew up.’
‘Jackson Calder and I have been over for a long time. There’s no bad blood between us, not anymore, if that’s what you’re worried about.’
‘Good to know,’ Nathan says dourly.
‘Caleb and I really want to give this a go. This isn’t us asking for permission. This is more of a heads-up. We’ve got statements written that have been approved by PR, and we plan to post them in the days following the race.
I’m so proud of how he’s stood his ground. He holds pretty much all the cards right now since it’s possible he could win the World Championship in a matter of days, so it’s about the only time he can afford to be cocky.
‘You don’t like to make this easy for us, do you, Johannes? First all the stuff with Harper, and then Jackson, and now your race engineer.’
I have a name.
I also feel annoyed on Johannes’ behalf. I can’t work out if maybe Nathan’s slightly homophobic or just a dick at this point, because straight drivers often get caught doing much worse than having a couple of relationships. Plus, Johannes’s thing with Jackson isn’t and has never been public.
‘Look, like Johannes said, we just wanted to let you know so you’re prepared,’ I add. ‘Now, I’m sure we’ve all got a lot to do, given we fly out today.’
I’m about ready to cut this delight of a meeting short.
As we stand up, Nathan starts barking orders to HR and PR about how to handle this.
It doesn’t matter either way to me. He can’t fire us for this and it’s done now. We have a flight to catch and the final race weekend to prepare for.
* * *
The week descends into chaos from that moment onwards. Someone in the meeting has clearly been breaking confidentiality because most of the team knows by the time we get to FP1. I’m subjected to a lot of whispering and second glances, but I can hardly bring myself to care. It makes it easier for me and Johannes to not have to hide. I don’t go back to my accommodation with the other engineers and I’m not complaining, because every morning I get to wake up to Johannes and how could anyone complain about that?
In work we’re completely professional like we’ve always been, and I’d challenge anyone to say otherwise. He’s performing well. And with just two points in it between him and Harper for the championship, that’s exactly what we need to see.
He qualifies in P2– because Harper won’t give up without a fight– but I tell Jo that it doesn’t matter where he starts. He’s going to take this. It’s going to have to be the drive of his life, but he has it in him. I know it. I feel it.
Harper was just stupid fast in his single laps, but when it comes to today that’s not important. Being good over one lap means nothing when there’s fifty-eight to complete today.
Presenting Johannes with his last cup of coffee for the season is an emotional moment for both of us.
‘This changed it all. I hope you know that, Caleb,’ he says, coffee cup in one hand and my hand in his other as he squeezes it.
‘Nah, you changed it. This was just fuel for the journey.’ He’s shaking his head, but he doesn’t protest. He’s got a race suit to put on and a national anthem to stand for and then it’s go-time and I need to be at pit wall getting ready. ‘You’ve got this, handsome. Go kick your best friend’s ass.’ I kiss his lips chastely before pulling away as he starts to laugh.
In the blink of an eye the race begins and all I can do is watch over him. He tries in the very first seconds to pull ahead of Harper, but he can’t get through.
There were 123 overtakes on this track last year. Johannes just needs one to bring this home.
Except the laps begin to tick down and Harper’s being, well, Harper, and making this impossible for us. He’s determined, but I don’t care. I want this for Johannes.
