The phone started ringing and he answered it quickly like he was waiting by the phone.
“I thought for a minute you dropped me like a bad habit.”
I let out a small, fake laugh and before I could stop it, I knew he heard it.
“What was that laugh?” he asked, curious.
I bit my lip, thinking if I should tell him the truth. “Can I be honest?”
“Always.”
I took a breath. “I started to feel some things I shouldn’t have. And instead of pretending I didn’t, I told myself I needed to remove myself from this friendship before it... you know. Iknow why we originally connected, but I took it upon myself to actually get to know you and—”
“Then why call?” he cut in.
The why that he asked wasn’t harsh but it did have me speechless for a second.
“Why call if you felt that way?”
I swallowed. My throat felt tight, like I’d been holding something in all day.
“Because I’ve had a really terrible day,” I said, starting to cry again. “One of the worst I’ve had in years and not because of what happened, but because of how it made me feel. No one seems to care about that part. Everyone keeps telling me to consider this, and consider that, and think about him, and think about the bigger picture. I don’t want to consider anything right now but how Khloe feels.”
I paused.
“And I know you’re the one person who won’t tell me to consider anything outside of myself.”
He chuckled, and I felt bad because it sounded like I was using him a little bit.
“Do you know how rare it is for a woman to say that out loud?” he said. “To choose herself without apologizing for it?”
Wait, hold on.I felt my shoulders relax just a little.
“People call that selfish,” he continued. “But it’s not.”
I closed my eyes for a second, taking his words in. It felt so good to be understood.
“Where are you?” he asked.
“I’m actually just parked in my driveway,” I said, looking at my house.
“Check your phone.”
I frowned and picked it up. A new text sat at the top of my screen.
“What is this?” I asked.
“My address,” he said. “You said you wanted a moment where you didn’t have to consider anything but yourself. I’m not talking about anything sexual. Just come be a guest at my home. We’ll talk, eat, and chill. I’ll even play you some music and have you gone before you need to pick your daughter up from school.”
My heart started doing that fast, uneven thump that felt a lot like fear and excitement holding hands.
I sat there, staring at my front door.
I thought about talking about it with Coffee, but she’d tell me I was crazy. I considered calling Niv, but she’d chew me out for reaching out after she instructed me not to.
I thought about going inside to take a nap, wait for Kairo to get home, and try to have a conversation I didn’t even know how to start. I thought about how it would be a conversation that would probably end with both of us defending our intentions instead of addressing our pain.
My mind started talking louder than my logic ever could.
