I smacked my lips. “That was a friendly hug. He wasn’t naked and ready to stick it in.”
“True,” she said. “But feelings don’t care about technicalities. What matters is what your mind decides something means.”
“And right now,” Coffee continued, “your mind is loud as hell.”
I sniffed hard and wiped at my face with the back of my hand, shaking my head.
“Coffee, you have a point, but I don’t even want to focus on that right now.”
“So in that moment,” she asked, trying to switch gears with the conversation, “when you drove off… what would you have wanted him to do?”
I swallowed, staring at the road ahead of me.
“Because I understand why you’re mad,” she kept going. “But if we’re being honest, you’re not mad because you think he did something. You know deep down he was innocent. You’re mad about how he handled it and how he handled you afterward.”
“Yes,” I said immediately. “Like stop trying to explain it. Stop trying to make it logical. Just care about me. Just hold me in the moment. Just see that I’m hurt and respond to that instead of facts, explanations, and defense.”
Coffee was quiet taking in everything that I was saying.
“So you would’ve wanted him to chase you?” she asked. “Follow you home?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “Yes. Show up for me like you show up for everyone else. Especially that damn job.”
The words tasted bitter in my mouth, but they were true.
Coffee exhaled slowly. “Okay. But in that moment… would you have even been calm enough to let him be there for you? Or would it have been him chasing you, trying too hard, and it turning into something even uglier?”
I sniffed again. I really thought about what she asked, and the truth surprised me.
“I… can’t answer that,” I admitted honestly. “I don’t know.”
Coffee hummed softly. “And that’s the problem, Khloe,” she said. “You wanted him to still chase you in a moment where you pushed him away. You told him, without saying the words, leave me the fuck alone. But what you actually wanted was for him to be there. To follow you anyway and refuse to give you the space you were basically demanding.”
“And now,” she continued, “because he chose the opposite—because he probably thought he was respecting you and giving you space—you’re mad at him for that. Do you see how that doesn’t make sense? Do you see what your mind is doing to you?”
I stared through the windshield, tears falling silently down my face. She did have a point. I just wasn’t ready to accept it.
“I think,” Coffee said softly, “you need to go home and just… sit for a minute. No thinking or replaying the situation. Just breathe.”
“I did have a long night,” I admitted. “We watched a scary movie before bed, and I tossed and turned all night while Kairo slept like a baby.”
Coffee laughed softly. “See? You probably just need a nap.”
“Yeah,” I said tiredly. “I’ll call you when I get up. I’m like ten minutes from the house now.”
“Okay. I love you, girl.”
“I love you too.”
I hung up and sat in silence for a minute. The screen in my car switched automatically to my call log. Three missed calls fromStacks. I also had a message sitting in my phone unopened with his song for the day. I sighed, resting my head back against the seat for a moment. I had told myself I was done. Done with the friendship, the confusion, and anything that would complicate my life more than it already was. But staring at his name made my resolve wobble.
Everyone kept asking me to see things from Kairo’s perspective. No one ever just lets me sit in my feelings without trying to make them reasonable. That had always been my problem. I always considered Kairo. I always made room for him. I always bent and adjusted my feelings for him.
But talking to Stacks… it felt different.
With him, there was no history to manage, no marriage to consider, and no past to defend. When I talked to him, I forgot about my responsibilities, my hurt, and my overthinking. It felt like stepping into fresh air after being stuck in a room with no windows. Laughter came easier and curiosity felt harmless. I didn’t have to explain myself.
I didn’t want to call him back, but I wanted that feeling. Before I could talk myself out of it, I reached out and pressed his name on the screen.
