AntD
Deep, man. You really should write that book.
NickKnackPaddyWhack
I’ll get right on that, right after I finish my other masterpiece, 101 Ways to Cook Ramen: A Student’s Guide to Gourmet Dining.
AntD
I expect both will be bestsellers.
NickKnackPaddyWhack
Oh, totally.
Anyway, let’s pretend you’re Anthony Devine and not someone pranking me. What happened to all your followers?
AntD
This is my private Instagram account.
NickKnackPaddyWhack
A very convenient story. Next thing you’ll be telling me is that you’re secretly a down-to-earth guy who just wants to connect with someone who sees past the fame and fortune.
I stare at the phone for a few heartbeats before I tap out my reply.
AntD
You got me. I’m just a regular dude who happens to have a killer falsetto and a weakness for hair gel.
NickKnackPaddyWhack
A weakness for hair gel? That’s like saying the Titanic had a mild ice problem. I’ve seen Anthony Devine’s hair defy physics in ways that would make Einstein weep.
Another laugh escapes me. God, this guy is really something.
AntD
It’s good to see you don’t limit your mocking to only my architectural videos.
NickKnackPaddyWhack
No, I’m definitely equal opportunity when it comes to mockery. Come on, I mean, the guy is pretty much perfect. We’ve got to find the small stuff to make fun of, otherwise he’s just intimidatingly flawless, and that’s bad for everyone’s self-esteem.
AntD
I’m definitely not perfect.
NickKnackPaddyWhack
Oh, that’s right, you’re actually Anthony Devine, aren’t you?
AntD
I’m glad you’re catching on to that fact.
NickKnackPaddyWhack
