“You can’t be stressin’ like this,” he said. “Not with my baby in there.”
That made somethin’ in my gut twist ‘cause even though I loved my baby with everything in me, I ain’t like the way everybody always brought the baby into every emotional moment like my feelin’s ain’t matter too.
“It ain’t just about the baby,” I replied while I looked at him. “I’m human too, Kay’Lo.”
His expression softened immediately.
“I know that. You think I don’t know that?”
His hand slid up to my face and he brushed his thumb across my cheek.
“I love you beyond that, Toni. You my wife before anything else.”
For a second I just stared at him. Then the question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.
“Well why did you fuck her?”
The moment the words left my mouth Kay’Lo looked down and dropped his head for a second like the weight of that question hit him square in the chest.
For a few seconds he ain’t say nothin’, and the silence between us felt real heavy.
Finally, he lifted his head again and looked me in the eyes. “I wasn’t thinkin’.”
His voice sounded honest and tired, like he had replayed that mistake in his head more times than he could count.
“Toni,” he said, “I didn’t fuck Echo the same way I do you, if that’s what you wonderin’.”
He held my face in his hand, so I couldn’t look away from him.
“Toni, I make love to you every time I stick my dick in you.”
The way he said it made my throat tighten.
“I care about how you feel about this whole situation,” he continued, “but I’m also tryna keep my head strong right now so I don’t spiral. My life and my freedom on the line right now. I can’t afford to lose myself.”
His hand moved back down to my stomach.
“I know you need me,” he said. “And I know my baby need me too.”
He looked down at my belly for a second before meetin’ my eyes again.
“It ain’t that I’m puttin’ My’Love before your feelin’s, but I can’t lie and say I don’t think about her when all this shit goin’ on. I ain’t scared of a lot of things in this world, but I’m scared of two.”
He swallowed before he spoke again. “I’m scared of losin’ you… and I’m scared of not bein’ here for my daughter.”
My chest tightened when he said that, and tears filled my eyes again.
Kay’Lo leaned down and kissed me slow, his lips gentle against mine before he started kissin’ across my cheeks and the corners of my eyes, kissin’ away every tear that had slipped down my face.
“I love you,” he whispered. “If I could take that shit back I would.”
Somethin’ inside me finally softened, so I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed him back, and the tension that had been sittin’ with me all week slowly started to melt.
Kay’Lo kissed down my chest after that, stoppin’ long enough to kiss both of my nipples before movin’ lower. When he reached my stomach, his whole energy shifted again.
His hands spread across my stomach while he leaned down and pressed soft kisses all over it, rubbin’ and kissin’ my body like our baby girl could already feel how much he loved her.
“My’Love,” he murmured against my skin.
