None of us can be happy—it’s a stipulation of working here—butespeciallynot his most cherished pet; the prototype on which he’s modeled us all.
I would never admit it out loud, but I think Rook could be good for Velle. Does it make me jealous to think about? Sure. But I can’t help wondering what would happen if Velle decided to say fuck what The Ivory wants and just… do whathewants.
Considering things like happiness, versus fear, keeps me deep in my thoughts for the duration of our barely thirty minute flight. I don’t even remember what we watched, but it doesn’t matter because we’re here, and I now need to wrap my head aroundgoing out.
Normally, this would be the time when I’d split from the herd, and take a cab to my home in Babylon. Instead, here I am being chauffeured into Manhattan with the rest of the group to check into our rooms that The Ivory has on permanent reserve at The Plaza.
“This is weird,” Hancock says.
I can feel him gawking in my periphery, and my head cocks his way.
“Having you here,” he goes on, in that casual shit-talking tone that could be mistaken for ditzy, when really, he’s just a troublemaker. “You never hang out.”
Yea, because I don’t want to.
Nikki is going out, which means Icouldjust go home and be alone. But then, that seems just as depressing as going out to a club, sober and married.
Plus, I need to keep myself from venturing somewhere I shouldn’t…
“First time for everything,” I mutter.
“Like losing your virginity.” Jasper drops a taunting hand on Hancock’s knee. “I’m sure it’ll happen for you eventually, bud.”
“Says the guy whose crabs have herpes,” Hancock huffs.
Rook snorts.
“Anyway,” Velle rolls his eyes, “what would you like to do tonight?”
When no one says anything, I glance up. “Who, me??”
“Yes,you,” he grunts. “You’re going out for the first time in like ten years… Hubby’s choice.”
He grins, an almost Cheshire, pot-stirrer smile that gleams like that of a cartoon bad guy.
I look around at the rest of them, all staring at me in wait.
“Uh… I’m down for whatever.”
Hancock frowns.
“How about… Americana?” I sigh, the first club name that comes to mind.
I’ve never even been there before, I just remember scoring from a guy in the alley behind it like ten years ago.
Velle is making a face I can’t read, but the others seem onboard.
“Sounds like a plan.” Peters claps, grinning big. Bigger than usual. “I’m telling you, I need this. I’m gettin lit tonight!” He peeks at me and frowns. “Sorry…”
I shrug. “It’s fine. I don’t have to drink or get high to have fun. Let’s rage.”
Ew.Even saying those words makes me feel like a fake ass loser.
But my crew doesn’t seem to notice. Or they don’t care. They just whoop and cheer.
“Well, I plan on gettingveryhigh tonight.” Jasper bounces in his seat.
“Same. I might even pass out in a gutter.” Hancock winks at Joy. “Fingers crossed.”
