Purges are reserved strictly for acting like I’m happily married.
Not this time, though. Tonight…I just need a fucking drink.
A virgin one, okay? I’m not going to piss away years of sobriety because I’m stressed.
And freaking out. And excited, but mad at myself for being excited. I’m a goddamn wreck, honestly. It probably is areallybad idea for me to go out to a bar, where alcohol and drugs will be flowing.
But let’s face it… I’m not exactly a pinnacle of good decisions.
“What’s up with Nikki?” Joy asks, as we get settled on the jet, in our usual seats.
“Turns out there’s some work thing she can’t get out of,” I make up a story on the fly. “She’ll be home later.”
She nods, accepting my bullshit. Then she smiles. “Well, it’ll be fun to have you with us for a change.”
I show her one of my own that feels forced, even for me, taking out my iPad. She nestles up by my side, reaching over to pick an episode of something to watch, because apparently I’m taking too long.
Lifting my gaze, I watch as Jasper yanks the brim of his hat down over his face, and Hancock kicks his feet up on the table. Peters pulls out a worn copy ofGone Girl—it’s kind of hilarious thathe, of all people, loves suspense fiction. Lucas is ransacking the snacks, opening everything, as he does.
And Velle pops in his earbuds, pulling his hood over his head. It’s his thing on flights; listening to music and zoning out. But this time, his eyes are subtly following Rook, who’s seated across the aisle from him, searching his bag for something.
“Crap…” Rook mutters. Joy looks up. “I forgot my headphones.” He turns to Velle. “You mind if I listen with you?”
Velle appears thoroughly appalled. It has me smirking.
“I’d rather jump out of this plane and plummet to my death,” Velle grumbles. Rook actually grins at that. As if he thinks it’s cute. “Who knows what kinds of bullshit you listen to…”
“I like the Eagles.” Rook shrugs.
“Yea, even more no…” Velle grimaces as if he’s highly offended. “That’s disgusting.”
Rook gets up. He’s all curiosity in his green eyes, a mischievous smirk on his lips as he scoots in next to Velle. “Let me listen.”
He actually plucks one of Velle’s earbuds out and sticks it into his ear. The rest of us aregawking. Joy and I share a look of baffled amusement.
Rook frowns for a second. But then he nods along to whatever music is playing in their ears. “I guess I get it…” He laughs at Velle’s blatant scowl.
“What is it?” Hancock asks, grinning.
“Diablo,” Velle mumbles, still grilling Rook hard with flames of blue frustration.
“That’s a jam,” Hancock sighs, settling back in his seat, closing his eyes to cat nap.
Joy huffs, shaking her head as we all go back to our activities. I’m still watching the two of them, though, marveling at the way Rook isn’t affected by Velle’s surly glares and stiff, unmoving bitchiness. Honestly, he seems to enjoy it.
Everyone thinks Velle is this huge, emotionless wild animal of a cocky asshole, programmed to be the Warden’s henchman and nothing more. And sure, most of that is true, on the outside. But I’ve known him a long time. I remember who he was before years and years of the island hardened him into who he is now.
You can’t blame the guy for embodying what The Ivory designed him for.
We don’t exactly get along, but truthfully, I don’t get along withanyone. Except Joy, and maybe Peters. Jasper is a grouch, but he’s cool. Hancock is okay when he’s not running his mouth. I think I could like Rook, but I don’t know him well enough yet.
Velle is he leader of the pack, and he knows it. Anyone watching from the outside could say he’s a meathead, too brash for his own good, and basically just a big tattooed menace who probably shouldn’t have as much power as he does.
But not getting fucked up allows me to see what others eithercan’t, or just refuse to. The weight of the world is on John Chevelle’s shoulders, and if he’s any level of narcissistic asshole, it’s because hehasto be in order to survive.
I liked him a lot better when he and Joy were dating, way back when I first started. The relationship kept him grounded. Sure, he’s a hard-ass by nature, but he wasn’t unbearable. In fact, he was happy.
The Ivory couldn’t have that. He didn’twantthat.
