"I might miss running in the Orchard sometimes. We mostly just listened to boring audiobooks together, but it was nice not to be alone," I whispered. My eyes were watering again.
Niall gently wiped a few of my tears away."Do you feel alone a lot, Livvy?"
"Sometimes. I miss this sometimes, too.Us."
He cupped the back of my neck gently, as he held my forehead to his. "I miss us too."
"I don't want him to be my fated mate."
"I know. He's nowhere near as attractive as I am."
My laugh was teary, but he was right."I wish I could trust you again."
"I wish that every fucking day."
Niall wiped a few more of my tears away.
I knew I should stop talking to him. Make him leave. Come to terms with everything on my own.
But I couldn't.
And I didn't want to.
"What did he say your magic felt like? I know your power pretty well."
"He says it's an energy boost. He calls me Zap, like the energy drinks at Kat's cafés."
He knew Kat was Callum's mate. We'd been together when my best friend made his bargain with the werewolf, so Niall had heard nearly as much about her as I had.
He'd just thought Callum was stalking her, before he knew about fated mates. Which he was. There was just more to it than that.
Niall and Callum had been pretty good friends when we were together, so it wouldn't surprise me if he'd kept track of Callum's mating announcement in the news, either.
"Nicknaming you after your power is a dick move. As if that's all you are," Niall said, his voice gritty with the anger he was trying to hide from me. His possessiveness clearly hadn't gone anywhere, despite our years apart.
"Did it ever feel like that to you? An energy boost?"
"No. It did change a lot, though. The sensations depended on what we were doing, how much we were touching, and whether or not you were actively pushing the magic at me. Which you usually weren't. It felt like a brush of your hand against my skin, then."
"It was different sometimes?"
He nodded. "Your magic is alive, Liv. I'd be more surprised if your power didn't feel different to different people."
"I guess that's fair. He could still be my fated mate, though. I've never had anyone tell me that before. Callum had never heard it either."
"You could make a bargain with him to find out."
"No. If he wants to be with Gwen, I don't want my soul officially connected to his." I let out a long breath and lifted my forehead from Niall's. His face was wet with my tears, and I tried to wipe them off with my fingers. It mostly failed. "Sorry. You're kind of a mess now too."
"I don't mind." He brushed my hair out of my eyes. "Feel better?"
"I'm not in the middle of a panic attack anymore, so that's nice. But I'll need to get back on the bike in a minute."
"Darius won't be able to ride with you. He was turning a TV show on with Lars, and he looked a little sick," Niall said, studying my face.
"I don't think the realization that your fated mate can reject you is easy for him. He's been trying so hard to find his since he was like fifteen."I paused, then added, "You should probably go."
"That's not how this works." He gestured between us, still talking aboutthe thing we did when I panicked. "I get to tell you what I think about the situation."
